Using My Psychic Powers To Thwart A Vulcan Invasion

SpockWinter Storm Vulcan arrived in Maine a few hours earlier than expected, Modern Philosophers.

The office is always abuzz when a blizzard hits.  Everyone is a little nervous, we all grow concerned, and no one really wants to deal with all the snow.  It also seems silly (or “highly illogical”…wink, wink) to sit there, allowing the storm to unload inch after inch of snow on us, rather than heading home when the roads are still safe.

For once, I wasn’t as nervous as the others.  Believe me, Modern Philosophers, I am the most nervous of Nellies when it comes to driving in the snow, but today I had something going for me…

I knew I had the day off tomorrow.

I just had to get home tonight, and I wouldn’t lose sleep over having to drive tomorrow when Vulcan is supposed to unleash the worst of its fury.

How did I know last week to take off tomorrow?  Is The House on the Hill fully equipped with top of the line meteorological gadgets?  Do I have a direct feed to the folks at The Weather Channel?  Perhaps I have a spy in Snow Miser’s entourage?

VulcanClearly, I have psychic powers!  It’s the only way to explain this.  I sensed Vulcan’s evil presence early last week, could tell that it would be a horrible blizzard, and I took the necessary precautions.

Score one for the good guys!

Of course, I still had to get home tonight.  It started snowing around 11:00, and came down awfully hard most of the afternoon.  The Weather Channel predicted the heaviest snow just in time for rush hour.  How logical of you, Vulcan.

I made a very smart move by arranging to drop off my car at the mechanic’s tonight.  That way, I eliminated having to worry about the dangerous ascent up my long, steep driveway.

At 4:45, I ran outside to start Zombie Car and assess the conditions.  A coworker, who had left earlier in the afternoon, had informed us that she’d passed four accidents on her drive home.  Stress levels were beginning to rise.  My toga was getting sweaty.

As I neared Zombie Car, I noticed there was something on the roof of my vehicle.  Once I realized what it was, I smiled bright enough to melt some of the snow.

car snowmanSomeone had left this adorable little Snowman for me.  How cute it that?  They even took the time to add colorful eyes, a mouth, and all those buttons.

My little hitchhiker definitely lowered the stress levels, and I left him on his perch to watch over Zombie Car until my return.

My new friend decided not to hitch a ride home. He wanted to stay in the grass, play in the snow, and see how much he’d grow overnight.  I was happy to comply with his wishes, and hopefully, some other folks got to see him when they left.

The drive home was @#$%^&* scary, Modern Philosophers!  They snow was coming down quite hard, the highway was barely plowed, with only one lane safe for driving, and the only other car was a UPS truck way ahead of me.  I thought that I’d made the wrong choice by taking the highway, but it is the shortest, most direct route home, and the side streets are always in much worse shape.

I was white knuckling the steering wheel the whole way, praying out loud for any higher power to guide me home safely, and trying to imagine The Girl Who Always Soothes Me sitting in the passenger seat and whispering calming things to me.

I felt like I held my breath for the entire 15 minute drive, and only let it out when I parked Zombie Car in my mechanic’s lot.  I have not been that relieved to step out of a vehicle since the last time I took a plane.

But I’m proud of myself.  I faced my fears, used my psychic powers for good, and allowed the positive energy of an unexpected new friend to keep me calm under pressure.

Hope you all made it home safely tonight, Modern Philosophers…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Using My Psychic Powers To Thwart A Vulcan Invasion

  1. idiotprufs says:

    We’ve had blizzard conditions here all day.

  2. Our snow started before 7:00 am and escalated throughout the day. I only stuck my nose out the door to bring my car into the garage and out of Mother Nature’s clutches. She’s been some mad lately. I wonder if she needs her meds adjusted?

    Was your drive home in fact 15 minutes or is that on a normal day?

  3. Teela Hart says:

    I’m glad your psychic powers did you some good this time. I tend to want to think like you on this. TWC and TSM are in it together….glad you made it home safe. 🙂

  4. ksbeth says:

    glad you made it and love the hood ornament )

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