Happy St. Paddy’s Day from Maine’s Zombies!
The Return of the Modern Philosopher

The reports that have been coming in across the state of Maine are both horrifying and gruesome. The Zombie Problem, which Governor LePage had assured us was under control, has gotten completely out of hand after a weekend rampage that has not only swelled the Zombies’ bellies, but their numbers as well.
Drunk residents, who passed out in public places after drinking too much on St. Patrick’s Day, became a feast for the brain craving undead. Parks, streets, alleys, water fountains…all became the setting for a statewide, all you can eat Zombie Buffet.
Governor LePage has called in the National Guard and the Professional Zombie Hunters Association has sprung into action, but it might already be too late. Hundreds of Mainers have been reported missing and are believed to have become Zombie food. Many of the…
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