Blame Zombies’ Union For Short Season Of The Walking Dead

Fans of The Walking Dead are both buzzing about tonight’s Season Finale, and mourning that another season of the best Zombie show on TV is coming to an end.

The complaint I hear most from my readers is that The Walking Dead’s season is much shorter than that of regular, less Zombie-inclusive television shows.  In honor of the Season Four Finale, I decided to investigate as to why there are only 16 shows this season.

After some quick calls to AMC and the offices of Zombie Walker Productions, the answer was clear.  The Zombies are to blame for The Walking Dead’s shorter seasons.

More specifically, the blame lies with the Zombies’ Union.  Did you have any idea, Modern Philosophers, that the Zombies were organized?  I think that’s our worst nightmare come to life.  I had to get to the bottom of this.

Meet Shaun de la Morte.  He is the head of The International Brotherhood of Zombies, the labor union which monitors the working day of Zombies on movie and television sets.

This makes him one of the most powerful people involved in the production of The Walking Dead.

Seriously, Shaun?  A labor union for Zombies?

“Who else is going to look after their best interests, mate?” he asked and caught me off guard with a British accent given his last name.  “Before the IBZ came along, Zombies were being used and abused all day on set by over demanding directors.  Then they had their brains scrambled to boot.  That’s no way for the living or the undead to have to work.  We put an end to that nonsense.”

It’s not that I’m anti-labor or anything, but why does the better treatment of Zombies mean that fans have to pay the price with shorter seasons of their favorite show?

“There are laws for the living, and there’s an entirely different set of laws for the dead,” Shaun yelled at me as his cheeks flushed.  “Are you trying to tell me in your comfortable toga as thoughts flow freely through your non-diseased brain, that you know anything what it’s like to die and then come back from the dead only to be put to work on a television show?  The undead just want to find some brains and flesh, go for group walks, and be left alone.  The last thing they want are 18 hour work days under harsh lights, doing take after take because the living can’t remember their damn lines!”

I guess I’ve never considered the needs of the Zombies.  Living in Maine, where Zombies roam the streets, and every Mainer receives mandatory training on Zombie killing, I’ve come to think of Zombies as a homicidal annoyances without any rights.  Hmmmm…

“No one is saying The Walking Dead can’t bring you 26 shows a season like a typical TV series,” Shaun continued in a calmer manner.  “Those additional ten episodes would just have to be devoid of Zombies.  The rules are in place to make sure there are Zombies around for The Walking Dead to continue for dozens of seasons.”

What do you think of the Zombies’ Union, Modern Philosophers?  Did you have any idea the IBZ even existed?  Does this make you more accepting of the shorter seasons for The Walking Dead?