Even I, the mighty Zeus, needs friends, and that toga wearing deep thinker with the odd sense of humor has really grown on me over the past year.
Right now, Austin is sound asleep on his couch, wiped out from all the late nights he put in this week writing for The Nite Show. Not only is he physically tired, but he is also emotionally spent. He loves nothing more than being a writer, and the past three days have given him a high he hasn’t felt since The Girl Who Owns His Heart moved far away…
What goes on at The House on the Hill while the Modern Philosopher sleeps is actually quite interesting. Let me take you on a little tour.
Seamus, Maine’s only Leprechaun and the blog’s sports reporter, is down in the basement counting the coins in his pot o’ gold. Austin has absolutely no idea that every month, Seamus sets aside a few coins in a secret hiding hiding spot. He calls it “Austin’s 401 Gold K” and it is his way of thanking his friend for all his kindness.
In the kitchen, the Devil is restocking the refrigerator with Snapple and filling the cabinets with bags of chips. While it might seem like Satan is forever drinking Austin’s last Snapple and eating his last chip, he always makes sure his friend never goes without either item.
Maine’s three most powerful Witches, Waltzing Matilda, Ti-Diana, and Volcanica Ivy are gathered around a cauldron in the dining room. They are conjuring up a very powerful Keypyachinnuppikus Charm, which is meant to keep Austin upbeat and smiling.
They know he so dearly misses the most important person in his world, and this potent Magic is their way of looking out for him and chasing away the black clouds.
Gary the Gargoyle is up on the roof, standing guard over The House on the Hill and its owner. With his keen sense of hearing, Gary can monitor Austin’s breathing to make sure all is well. From his perch, he can make sure that the Zombies and other threats never even make it to the front porch.
Not far from Gary, the Woodbury Family gathers to make a sweep of the home they built. The Ghosts have lived in the attic for almost 150 years ago, and they agree that the Modern Philosopher is their favorite of the subsequent owners. They will walk the halls to make sure there is no other entity lurking in The House on the Hill, and leave their ectoplasm on the walls to mark the territory as their own.
This is necessary because the presence that Austin senses watching him sleep is not a nightmare, but rather, an Evil Spirit that the Woodburys do their best to keep outside of the home.
Down in the foyer, Gary Lincoln, the leader of Maine’s largest Werewolf pack, is joined by three of the pack’s members. It’s not a full moon, so the quartet is in human form, which is a good thing because they sing much better that way. They are currently serenading Austin as he sleeps. I really wish you could hear them. It’s really quite beautiful.
Finally, there is one last Otherworldly Being to account for at The House on the Hill. She also comes from the Heavens, and watches over The Modern Philosopher much more often than I. Most of the time she is unseen, but Austin can somehow sense her presence in the form of goosebumps or butterflies in his stomach.
At the moment, the Archangel Rachel is sitting on the end of the couch and stroking the Modern Philosopher’s hair while he sleeps. As a result, he is having the best dream and when he awakens, his heart will be beating quickly.
Do you think the Modern Philosopher has any idea how loved he is by the Otherworldly Beings he writes about so often in his blog?
Goodbye from Mount Olympus. I hope you have enjoyed the tour. Let’s not tell Austin we did this…