As is tradition, several close friends and fellow Modern Philosophers have gathered at The House on the Hill to engage in our annual Good Friday Debate.
There is great food, intoxicating beverages, live music, and stimulating conversation.
As always, the conversation came around to the same thing: Is Easter really just a thinly veiled celebration of Zombies?
Sure, there’s the Easter Bunny, Easter candy, the Easterized eggs, the Easter egg hunts, the Easter Baskets, Easter Bonnets, Easter Mass, Easter Dinner, and the Easter Parade.
But at the heart of the day, it’s really a religious holiday celebrating Jesus’ resurrection from the dead.
Jesus was a Zombie, right?
Every year, we debate this. No matter who I invite to The House on the Hill for the Good Friday Debate, we end up a house divided. World War JZ.
Tonight, I was tempted to get my good friend Pope Francis on Skype to try to bring some reason to all the madness, but I knew the Partying Pontiff had much more important matters to attend to on Good Friday.
One guest made the mistake of stating that Jesus was the First Zombie, and Easter was, therefore, the birthday of the Zombie race.
Anyone who knows just a little bit about the Bible is aware that Jesus brought Lazarus back from the dead. So at the very best, Jesus was the second Zombie.
The Lazarus story sparked another debate, and mind you, the Deep Thoughts get louder and more…”out there”…as the night goes on and the adult beverages are consumed.
Was the “Lazarus Event” a preview of Jesus’ intent to create a Zombie Army, which He would lead after His resurrection on Easter Sunday? Would this Zombie Army conquer the Roman Army and rid the world of sinners and non-believers? Would the Zombie Army finish what Noah’s flood had started and finally cleanse the Earth?
Of course, the Deepest Thoughts of all delved into the arena of Time Travel and television. If Jesus were to travel from the very first Easter to an Easter in the world of The Walking Dead, would Rick & Daryl view Him as their Savior and the Son of God, or would they see Him as another threat that needed to have His brains scrambled?
And would any Good Friday debate involving Jesus, Zombies, and The Walking Dead be complete without a fight breaking out over whether Rick or Daryl was the Jesus figure on the hit AMC show?
It’s still early, Modern Philosophers, and I don’t see this debate ending any time soon. All this talk of Zombies has me nervous that we might attract some of Maine’s Zombie population to The House on the Hill. Luckily, Gary the Gargoyle is up on the roof, keeping watch over us. He’d never allow them to darken my driveway.
So what do you think, Modern Philosophers? Is Easter just a fun Holiday about eggs, candy, baskets, and a giant bunny? Or is it something far more more sinister involving Zombies and the quest for brains and world domination? If you were trying to survive the Zombie Apocalypse and Jesus appeared, would you see Him as a Savior or a threat that needed to be neutralized?
Hope you are enjoying your Good Friday. If you’re going to be in the area for Easter next year, let me know and I’ll invite you to the 2015 Good Friday Debate…