Ghosts And Realtors Join Forces To Jump Start Maine’s Housing Market

soldAccording to reports released today, the Maine housing market is on an upswing.

Through the first quarter of 2014, sales of new homes in Maine were up 29% from the previous quarter and a staggering 53% from the same time in 2o13.

So what’s the secret to success?


That’s right, Modern Philosophers, Maine has gotten its economy back on track by teaming Ghosts with Realtors.  How exactly does that work?

“We realized that Maine’s Otherworldly Being population made this a very intriguing state for people to visit,” explained Gertie Humpbolt of the Maine Association of Realtors.  “That got us to thinking that maybe people would want to move here so they can experience it on a daily basis, instead of only during their vacations.”

There were so many houses for sale throughout Maine, but no real interest in them.  In fact, more Mainers were losing their homes to foreclosure.  Clearly, if the market was going to have an upswing, it would need an influx of funds from folks “from away”.

All Hallow'sThat was when The All Hallows Society, Maine’s mysterious, super secret organization, proposed bringing together the Realtors and Ghosts.

“It was during Halloween Season, when  Maine is overrun by Otherworldly Beings who are visiting to enjoy their favorite time of year.  Human tourists get so caught up in the Halloween Spirit, and nothing appeals to them more than a haunted house!”

The All Hallows Society suggested moving Ghosts into some of the homes that were in foreclosure just to see if that would make them more enticing.

It did.

haunted-house“The second we started listing properties as Haunted Houses, the phones began to ring off the hook!” Miss Humpbolt told me excitedly.  “We changed the signs in front of the houses to say ‘Haunted House For Sale’ and suddenly, we’ve got tourists lining up to view places that hadn’t drummed up any interest in six months.”

Once word spread that Haunted Houses were drawing major interests from folks outside of Maine, everyone who wanted to sell started searching for the perfect Ghosts to move in and haunted their homes.

The Ghosts were more than happy to help.  “My group has traveled to Maine for the past sixty-five years to celebrate Halloween Season,” Gordius Rhue, a Ghost from Mississippi explained to this Modern Philosopher.  “When we saw the ads seeking Ghosts to haunt houses in Maine, we jumped at the chance.  Now we live in Maine all year, and we’ve got an awesome home to call our own!”

Now that the Ghosts have been found, and the homes are properly haunted, Realtors have been closing deals left and right.  In fact, they’re getting far above asking price on most of the homes they have on the market.

3-ghosts“It’s amazing!” Humpbolt told me as she ran a lint brush over her gold Realtor’s jacket.  “I’ve been selling houses in Maine for almost fifteen years, and I’ve never seen a run like this.  How did I never think to haunt my properties before this?”

I keep telling you that Maine is magical place, Modern Philosophers.  You should buy a place up here now before all the haunted ones are gone.  I’ve lived in a Haunted House for ten years, and I absolutely love it!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Ghosts And Realtors Join Forces To Jump Start Maine’s Housing Market

  1. markbialczak says:

    This is real estate news spooks me, Austin.

  2. Jet Eliot says:

    As always, this made me laugh…especially the line about the lint brush. Thanks Austin.

  3. Greetings from the professor!

  4. ksbeth says:

    so you are never truly alone )

  5. I am sure Maine is BEAUTIFUL, but I am breaking up with Winter as much as possible!

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