Calendar Commission Deadlocked On Vote To Expand Mother’s Day

Mom 4Even very powerful people have serious Mommy issues, Modern Philosophers!

My source inside the Calendar Commission has informed me that the group met for a secret vote to decide whether Mother’s Day should be expanded into Mother’s Weekend.

After a week of voting, the Commission remained deadlock and chose to table the discussion until later in the year.

The Calendar Commission is the secret society that controls the world’s calendars.  The anonymous members, who are appointed for life, wield a power so strong that Presidents, Popes, Kings, and Despots yield to their decisions.

No one is sure how many members make up the Commission, where or when they meet, and how they came to be so powerful.  Even my source is in the dark to these secrets, and is putting his or her life at risk by feeding me the puny amounts of information that eventually makes it onto this blog.

Mom 1“The Calendar Commission loathes change,” my course reminded me, “so the mere fact that they convened to consider expanding Mother’s Day is a colossal event.”

Think about how difficult it is to get a new Holiday onto the calendar, or even to get one removed.  This is why we still celebrate Arbor Day, Modern Philosophers!

So why the sudden urgency to consider making Mother’s Day a weekend long event?

“I’m told that several members of the Commission were guilted into the vote by their Mothers,” my source revealed with a snicker.

Ah ha!  Is that a chink in the Calendar Commission’s armor?  Clearly, some of them are Mama’s boys or girls.  There fact that they have Mothers dispels the rumor that they are robots put in power by Robot High Command in preparation for The Robot Apocalypse.   But I digress…

Mom 2“For every Commissioner doing a Mother’s bidding, there’s another who has such issues with Mommy that he or she is voting against the Mother’s Day Weekend idea,” my source continued.  “The only way they’re going to break the deadlock is by bringing in a bunch of shrinks to counsel the members about their Mommy issues.  Even if they were willing to allow strangers inside their inner sanctum, that kind of therapy could take years, even decades to yield any results.”

For the time being, Modern Philosophers, Mother’s Day is going to remain a Sunday only event.  Of course, that’s only on the calendars.  There’s no reason that you can’t choose to expand the Holiday into the entire weekend, or make it a week long event.  This is Mom we’re talking about here.  Nothing is too good for her!

So why don’t you do what the bureaucrats at the Calendar Commission couldn’t do, despite their possessing more power than the Greek gods?

Make Mother’s Day the elongated celebration it deserves to be.  Start showering Mom with love and affection the moment you finish this blog post, and don’t stop until she tells you she’s had enough.

Mom 3When I was a boy, I had to memorize the following quote by Abe Lincoln: “All I am, or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother”.

Don’t forget to tell your Mothers how much you love them, and don’t only tell them on Mother’s Day.  I lost my Mom when I was 3, and have absolutely no memory of her.  How I wish I could tell her every day how much I love her…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Calendar Commission Deadlocked On Vote To Expand Mother’s Day

  1. I am sorry to hear you lost your birth mother when you were three, but I award you 200 gold stars for this post. At my house we celebrate Mother’s Day all weekend. Like birthdays, I believe the whole week is wonderful step UP. 🙂 ❤

  2. The last sentence said it all.

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