This was one of those times when it’s rough to be a writer. Even though this episode aired second (we tape three shows, and usually in the order that they are to air), it was the first one taped that night.
I was pumped for this taping after eight of my monologue jokes were used at the previous one. I’d written multiple jokes for every item on Danny’s topic list. I was certain I would hear Danny recite several of my jokes as I sat in the shadows at the back of the theater.
But he did not use any of them. I was shut out of the monologue. I then had to sit there, stewing in my failure and disappointment as they continued with the rest of the episode. It was not a very good feeling, especially when my confidence had been so high. I suddenly feared that none of my jokes would be used the entire night, and I just wanted to sneak out of the theater and wallow in my self pity.
Yes, rejection is a big part of any writer’s life, but it doesn’t mean we’re ever cool with it.
Luckily, things turned around before the second show even started. When the cue card guy walked out from backstage, I could see that one of my jokes was on the top cue card.
Crisis averted. Self-confidence restored. Of course, that means, I have a ton of rejected jokes to share with you today…
The Greater Bangor Convention and Visitor’s Bureau Annual Awards were held this week, honoring the tourism industry. Here are some of my favorite Maine Tourism slogans that did not win: “It’s only snow, it’s not gonna kill you!”, “Don’t mind him, he’s only the Governor, and there’s no way he’s getting re-elected!”, “Maine: Where no one ever needs to know how bad you look in a bathing suit!”, and “Maybe you’ll see Stephen King, maybe you won’t, but you’ll never know unless you visit!”
NBC has announced that Seth Meyers will host this year’s Primetime Emmy Awards. When asked what excited him most about the opportunity, Meyers replied: “I’ve always been curious to see how well I’d do at an hour when infomercials weren’t my stiffest competition.”
Scarlett Johansson and fiancee Romain Dauriac are expecting their first child! While the baby will hopefully be blessed with its mother’s looks and talent, celebrity children don’t have it as easy as you might think. In this case, for example, half of the poor child’s DNA will be French…
Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. I was going to apologize for all the horrible breakfasts in bed mothers will have to endure, the poorly wrapped and ridiculously odd gifts they will receive, and the dinners of hastily prepared leftovers they will have to eat because nobody knew that you need to make reservations on Mother’s Day. Then I realized that all those things remind you how lost we are without you, and how much we all need our Moms. Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there!
The NFL released its new schedule, and the Patriots are playing 5 games in primetime. The Jets were also scheduled for 5 primetime engagements, but the networks protested, telling the league that they can charge way more for a 30 second commercial that airs during a sporting event, than they can for one that airs during a comedy.
The Big Bang Theory will air its Season Finale on Thursday, and I am proud to announce that this year, The Nite Show has finally edged out The Big Bang Theory for the prestigious Nerdiest Cast on Television Award!
Meg Ryan has signed on to play the voice of the Mother in the highly anticipated CBS pilot “How I Met Your Father”. I’m no psychic, but I predict that this series ends with the Mother meeting Tom Hanks on the top of the Empire State Building on Valentine’s Day. After a brief interruption by Billy Crystal, who argues that there’s no way men and women can just be friends, the Mother and Hanks go on to live happily ever after…
So what do you think, Modern Philosophers? Was Danny correct in banishing my jokes from this episode’s monologue? Did any of them make you laugh?
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Happy Mother’s Day!