I know this because I can smell the delicious scent of barbecued meat wafting through the neighborhood. No wonder my stomach is always rumbling!
The sun has returned to my frostbitten state, and Mainers have finally come out of hiding to fire up their grills. Does anything smell better than barbecue after a hard day at work?
There’s a saying in Maine: “Where there’s barbecue, there’s usually Governor LePage”. The incumbent must be slacking because the only gubernatorial candidate making the rounds of Bangor area grills today was Mayor McCheese.
The challenger, who is currently leading in all the polls, was very popular with Mainers as he made his away from backyard to front porch, passing out “I’d Like McCheese With That!” aprons, delivering free shakes, and posing for photographs with anyone who asked.
“I love the campaign trail,” Candidate McCheese informed me as we sipped chocolate shakes and got a little sun (he smells SO GOOD when the sun hits his patties just right and makes them sizzle!). “I enjoy meeting my fellow Mainers, helping to work the grill, and hearing what they need me to do if I get elected.”
Grills and Mayor McCheese just seem like the perfect fit. Has his campaign been praying for warm weather so they could get their candidate out there with barbecuing voters looking for a change in Maine politics?
“You’d better believe it,” Zeus, the Father of the Greek Gods and McCheese’s campaign manager answered enthusiastically when I posed the question. “I’ve had quite a few meetings with Mother Nature asking her to get her son Snow Miser under control so that I could get my candidate out there in his natural element.”
Zeus went on to imply that Governor LePage had a deal with Snow Miser to stick around Maine longer than usual. “The Governor is more of a Winter,” Zeus snickered. “He looks better in layers. His pastiness doesn’t seem so out of place when the state is covered in snow and everyone is freezing. Plus, he knows that warm weather means barbecues. The enticing scent of grilled burgers is a free, four month long commercial for my guy.”
So do Mainers really associate the smell of barbecue with Mayor McCheese? I decided to wander around and do some research, while making sure to accept all the free barbecue I was offered during my polling (I didn’t want to be rude!).
“Definitely, dude!” exclaimed the griller who insisted I have both a bacon burger and a red hot dog. “The second I fire up this baby, I make a mental note to vote for McCheese.”
“I’m going to grill more than usual this Summer just to keep the scent of burgers in the air, so my neighbors remember to vote for Mayor McCheese,” confessed the woman who handed me a double cheeseburger with grilled onions.
Those were all the comments I was able to get because I was so full and couldn’t possibly eat another thing. I decided to take a short nap on McCheese’s campaign bus, and when I woke up, Zeus was sitting across from me with a huge smile on his face.
“We’re going to win this thing, Austin,” he told me and pumped his fist.
I have a feeling that Zeus is 100% correct in his assessment. Do I smell bacon burgers…