What’s The Opposite Of Insomnia?

InsomniaDear Insomnia,

I was going through some old pictures on my laptop, and I found this one of you.  It made me realize that it’s been a long time since you’ve stopped by The House on the Hill unannounced for one of your all night visits.

I just wanted to check on you, and make sure you were well.  I hope you have found someone new to visit, and that this person is keeping an eye on you.

It’s not that I don’t miss you, but you always stopped by at the most inopportune times.  Perhaps we can arrange to get together in the near future.  This time, though, let’s do it at a neutral location like a bar or a restaurant.  That way, we can grab something to eat and a drink, and when the visit is over, we can go our separate ways.

You do know that you have a tendency to overstay your welcome, right?  I mean, this news shouldn’t be a surprise to you.  I think we could be really good friends, Insomnia, if you just learned a thing or two about boundaries.  If you’re willing to do that, then I say let’s spend some time together outside of The House on the Hill and see how it goes.

As for me, I’ve been busy lately doing a lot of writing and running.  That leaves me so exhausted at the end of the day that I’ve been sleeping like a baby.  It’s been so wonderful.

So maybe you have come knocking in the middle of the night, but I’ve been sound asleep and haven’t heard you.  If that’s the case, I apologize and wasn’t trying to be rude.  This sort of thing is to be expected, though, when you pop in unannounced at such odd hours.

Again, I hope this letter finds you well.  Let’s do lunch sometime.  I’ve really been craving a burger lately, so maybe we can go to Texas Roadhouse.

Let me know!

Your old pal,



About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to What’s The Opposite Of Insomnia?

  1. markbialczak says:

    You really had to knock at her door, did you, Austin? I hope you did not awaken the beast.

  2. I wouldn’t have the nerve to stir Insomnia’s ire. Sometimes it doesn’t pay to be nice. Don’t send that letter.

  3. AtlanteanMer says:

    Ugh….I guess he got tired of waiting on you and came to bug me last night instead. What day is this again? Time for me to start running again.

  4. howardat58 says:

    Sleeping sickness

  5. I’ve seen her around, too. Normally, we sit on the couch and she let’s me write bad poetry with her all night. She doesn’t like it when I don’t credit her input. Have you tried drinking heavily? 🙂

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