Would You Like Your Burger Medium Soaked Or Well Drenched?

grillIt’s Barbecue Thursday, Modern Philosophers.

It wouldn’t be Summer in Maine if the grills weren’t lit, and burgers and hot dogs weren’t being prepared for the hungry masses.

So, we’re having a giant barbecue at work today to do our part.

The one glitch in the plan is that it is raining pretty hard right now, and the forecast calls for thunder and lightning storms.  However, the meat must go on!  The grills have been prepped, menu items have been purchased, and coworkers have been promised food.  I wouldn’t want to think of the riot that would ensue (possibly led by me!) if we were told our free lunch was being canceled because of a little water!

Angry, hungry workers are not productive ones.  I think they teach that on the first day of Business School.  I wouldn’t know, though, since I went to Film School…

I will most likely be out there in the storm helping to man the grills.  I’ll put on a baseball cap, remind myself that I probably won’t melt, and do my best to keep the burgers and hot dogs dry.

singingI’ll be grillin’ in the rain, just grillin’ in the rain, flippin’ those burgers, before lightning strikes again… 

I was never good at Science, but burgers and hot dogs don’t attract lightning, right, Modern Philosophers?  I should be perfectly safe out there in the storm holding a metal spatula and standing next to those metal grills, yes?  There’s nothing to fear but fear itself…and death by electrocution.

Of course, the risk is worth the reward.  There’s nothing like the happy looks on the faces of my coworkers as they enjoy their barbecue and unwind a little during the workday.  Plus, I’m definitely craving a hot dog after all this healthier eating I’ve been doing as part of my running program.

I’ve also asked my good friend Zeus to hold off on hurling his lightning bolts anywhere near the vicinity of where we’ll be grilling.  He’s also promised to have Grillikus, the Greek God of Barbecues, watch over us as we toil in the storm.

With protection like that, all should be well.  Now where’s the beef?

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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22 Responses to Would You Like Your Burger Medium Soaked Or Well Drenched?

  1. grannyK says:

    Good luck and happy eating!

  2. markbialczak says:

    You should be fine, Austin. If somebody has their music collection playing, perhaps suggest they stay away from “Lightning Strikes Me Again” by Lou Christie and “Thunder and Lightning” by Thin Lizzie, Chicago and Chi Coltrane. Just for good measure. Enjoy the burgers and ‘dogs. At least the flames will burn off the rain!

    Pickles and ketchup on burgers, sauerkraut and spicy mustard on hotdogs for me. And you Austin and fellow Modern Philosophers?

  3. I can smell the rain and BBQ from here. I have a burger, thanks, with everything you have to throw on it.

  4. A great way to spend your day. Take the Yankee’s hat off, Austin. 😉 Put this Cardinals hat on instead…

    Grillikus sounds like a charming guy! So helpful around the rainy weather. Scientific thoughts and burgers sound nice, I think. However, I just smile and nod through the conversation…smile brightly as I watch the lightening. 🙂 Good Luck!

  5. Ally Bean says:

    Oh, yeah– you’ll be safe out there. No prob with metal and lightning. That is, as long you wear rubber-soled shoes and give your first-born burger to Zeus, asking for his protection. In that case, you’ll be fine.

  6. ksbeth says:

    keep the aluminum foil tucked away –

  7. OUR family is legendary for serving “rain-steamed” hot dogs….and we have cooked in a heavy rain, using a piece of sheet metal over the charcoal fire and wok…so it CAN be done!!! 🙂

  8. Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:

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