Fourth Of July: The Day We Celebrate The Legalization Of Fireworks In America

libertyHappy Independence Day, Modern Philosophers!

As you know, the Fourth of July is the Holiday when we celebrate the legalization of fireworks in America!

Because the British had very strict laws against the use of fireworks, the first colonists left England in search of a New World where they could have total explosive freedom.  They had a dream, and it was very colorful and quite loud.

Of course, King George was not a big fan of losing tax dollars and seeing the colonists totally disregard his anti-fireworks law, so he sent the Redcoats to teach them a lesson.  This is how the Revolutionary War started.

Few history books ever mention that the first shots fired in the Revolutionary War were actually bottle rockets.  I’m sure you’re well aware, however, that the “rockets’ red glare” and “bombs bursting in air” mentioned in the National Anthem are fireworks.

fireworksSo fireworks have played a key role in the history of The United States of America, even though their influence has been downplayed over the years.  Every July 4th, though, Americans get all hog wild and put on pyrotechnic displays for the ages.

Those in the know, Modern Philosophers, realize that our great Independence Day firework shows are put on to rub the Brits’ noses in the fact that we won the war.  We want to make sure every British citizen is well aware that while they’re working on July 4th, we’re sitting around barbecuing, drinking, and blowing up stuff.

These are the spoils of war.  We get to show off our legal fireworks while Prime Minister Cameron and Queen Elizabeth try to make the poor English citizens think that they are much better off on their side of the Atlantic, safe from the barbaric Americans and their noisy, breathtaking explosions.

Tonight, I will sit out on the porch of The House on the Hill in my red, white, and blue toga and watch the annual fireworks display.  How great is America?  I don’t even have to leave my home to watch the show.

IDHave a wonderful Independence Day.   Leave the fireworks to the professionals and keep the emergency rooms quiet to allow hospital personnel to enjoy the Holiday, too.

May your skies be forever lit up with the beautiful colors of freedom!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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13 Responses to Fourth Of July: The Day We Celebrate The Legalization Of Fireworks In America

  1. markbialczak says:

    It’s a great new world, Austin, where you can look up into the sky and watch the experts blow it up legally! Happy Fourth at the House on the Hill, my friend.

    • Austin says:

      Happy Fourth of July!

      I’m thinking about asking to teach a History class up at UMaine so I can share history secrets like these with a new generation. 🙂

  2. Enjoy the show. Quite the story you dug up. Happy July 4th.

  3. That will surely be quite an interesting history class, one the students won’t forget 😮

  4. ksbeth says:

    happy fourth to you and your band of characters on the house on the hill, austin )

  5. Rebekah says:

    Love it.

    A cute little 8 year old girl in Germany said, ”You should visit the USA. It’s cool there. You can carry around guns and shoot things.”

    Is that all people think about when they hear the word America? I believe so.

    • Austin says:

      I find I get a similar kind of comment when people find out I’m from New York. Apparently, all New Yorkers do is kill each other, curse, and commit various crimes when murder gets boring. 🙂

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