Germany Wins World Cup; Asks For Poland Instead Of Trophy

GermanyGermany beat Argentina tonight with a thrilling goal in extra time to win the 2014 World Cup.

The Germans’ goal, scored in the second period of extra time, broke a scoreless tie and led to a final of 1-0.

After the referee blew the final whistle, a wild celebration broke out on the field as the German team and their fans basked in their victory.

“This is the way it is supposed to be,” one excited German fan told this Modern Philosopher.  “Germany at the top of the world, looking down at everyone else.”

As is tradition, the World Cup Trophy was presented to the winners, and the German players ran around the pitch to show it off to the 74,000 fans in attendance.  Players kissed the trophy, held it high, and treated it with great reverence.

mapAccording to reports, after the presentation, German officials asked World Cup organizers if they could give back the trophy, and instead, have Poland as their reward.

FIFA officials immediately denied the request, the Polish government lodged a formal protest, and Polish troops were put on high alert.

German Prime Minister Angela Merkel, who was in attendance and seen shaking hands in the stands, quickly denied that anyone from her staff asked for Poland as a reward.

“That is ridiculous,” Merkel told the press.  “You are stereotyping the German people, and you know how we don’t like it when you put our backs up against the wall…”

TrophyFIFA officials have confirmed that the German team did leave with the World Cup Trophy, and they consider the matter to be closed.

The Polish government confirmed that it has been in touch with the United Nations Security Council.  At this time, it is believed that the request to exchange the World Cup trophy for Poland was only a joke, or simply a hoax.

Sleep well, Europe.  Germans are once again filled with national pride and feeling unstoppable!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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18 Responses to Germany Wins World Cup; Asks For Poland Instead Of Trophy

  1. jerryofcali says:

    My friend and I were actually discussing this development when we saw Putin and Merkel in deep discussion during the game instead of watching it.

  2. Now that Germany isn’t talking to us because we spied on them, they need a diversion. I wonder if anyone checked as to whether they are spying on us, as a return favor?

  3. susielindau says:

    I missed it!!!!! I can watch them in 4 more years.

  4. letmegrabapen says:

    Where’s the proof that this is actually true?

  5. Oh, Germany won did they? 😉

    …I think I really am going to be hung for my lack of football appreciation. *hides under the table*

    • Austin says:

      Be careful. You are in England and Germany is filled with national pride. As you can see from tonight’s blog post, the French are VERY jumpy…

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