I Advise You To Shine On, Superstar!

BlutoDear Modern Philosopher,

I’m having a little problem with jealousy, and I was hoping that you could give me some advice and set me straight.

I’m not a fan of all the attention that the Super Moon is getting.  I’m used to being the center of attention, and the solar system, so to have a little satellite suddenly grabbing all the attention bugs me.

I didn’t expect to react this way, and that’s what bothers me the most.  I know you probably assume I’m this major hothead whose anger flares up all the time, but I’m honestly usually very cool and laid back.

I guess I’m uncomfortable with how I’m feeling right now.  Why is it burning me up to see the spotlight shining brightly on another heavenly body?

Please help before I explode with jealousy!

The Sun

sun-with-sunglassesDear Sun,

If I promise to help you, will you go a little easier on Maine?  You’ve been giving us a little too much attention lately, and the heat has really made me miserable.

And maybe that’s why everyone is making such a big deal about the Super Moon.

It’s been a sweltering Summer, you’ve been in the news every day, and people are just looking for a change in the news cycle.

If it makes you feel any better, I’ve heard that the Super Moon is full of itself and has a dark side!

I advise you to shine on, Superstar!  You will always be the biggest and brightest star in our solar system.  Our lives and worlds will always revolve around you.  We will always depend on you for our existence and continued survival.

Jealousy is something everyone experiences.  You shouldn’t feel that exhibiting that quality right now in any way eclipses your importance to us.

You are the Milky Way’s rock star, and if that ever does change, we’ll all have much more pressing concerns to worry about…

Remember…let’s ease up on Maine a little, Superstar.


About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to I Advise You To Shine On, Superstar!

  1. happycitizen2 says:

    commence humming here> you are my sunshine…the brightest sunshine, your heat just
    melts me, day after day, if you could dial down the BTU’s dear, I’ll not wither or shrivel away.

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