Saying Goodbye To My Little Black Cat

BankyIt is a very sad day at The House on the Hill, Modern Philosophers.

Banky, my beloved little black cat, left this world this morning.  Banklyn McFranklin, as he was known by those who loved him, would have been 16 on September 1.

He was old, and he has been sick for some time, so I knew this day was coming.  That still doesn’t mean I was prepared for it.

I knew early this morning that today would most likely be my last day with my loyal sidekick.  The way he was acting, and refusing to eat or drink, told me all I needed to know.  Right before we left for the vet, I cradled Banky in my arms, and did one last walk through the House on the Hill for him.

I told him the story of the day we brought him home.  How that kid outside the grocery store with the box of kittens pestered me until I agreed to take the adorable little black ball of fur.  I reminded Banky how we bonded on that first day by watching football together as he curled up in my lap, and purred like a tiny purr ball.

I also told him the story of the day we arrived at The House on the Hill.  Banky and his sisters ran up and down the stairs all day.  Our apartment in California had been only one floor, so the kitties had never seen a staircase or realized how much fun one could be.

100_1006When we drove to the vet, I reminded Banky of how we used to take him for drives when he was a kitten.  He would stand in my lap, with his paws on the dashboard, as my ex-wife drove.  He loved to watch the road ahead and the passing vehicles.

I told him over and over again how much I loved him as we waited for the vet.  We both knew he wouldn’t be going back to The House on the Hill with me, but I kept praying for a miracle and reassuring Banky that I loved him as I petted him.

I haven’t stopped crying since the vet gave me the form to sign.  I came home and threw out all the kitty stuff I could find because I feared the mere sight of it would set me off.

The Girl Who Also Adored Banky has been texting me all morning to try to calm me.  She even called me right before she went in to take a test because she was so worried about me.  Even her soothing voice could not calm me.

Banky was not a fan of people.  He liked to hide in the bedroom if anyone ever came to the door, or Zeus forbid, dared to come inside The House on the Hill.  But The Girl was someone he accepted.  He’d come out for her, let her pet him, and would sit in her lap.

I made sure Banky knew that she loved him, too.

I just got back from picking up Chinese food and ice cream.  Thought I’d mourn Banky’s passing with comfort food, since I no longer have my little black cat to sit in my lap and comfort me.

Banky BoyYou were the Prince of The House on the Hill, Banky.  You will be missed.  Muchly.

I love you, Banky.  Thank you for looking after me for all these years…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

100 Responses to Saying Goodbye To My Little Black Cat

  1. Condolences on the loss of your boon companion.

  2. Dari says:

    So sorry!

  3. My deepest sympathies, Austin! It is never, ever easy to say goodbye to your four-legged friend. They really are a part of the family.

    • Austin says:

      Banky was with me since the early days in California. It’s going to be weird not having his adorable little face looking up at me. I’ll even miss him waking me up early on the weekends because he wanted to be fed… 🙂

      • It sounds like he was definitely loved to the fullest, that is for sure. I felt the same way when my dog Metoo passed away two years ago. There is just this hole in your heart that you will never quite be able to replace. But at least you’ll have all of the memories to hold on to 🙂

      • Austin says:

        Exactly. Sorry for your loss…

  4. hollie says:

    Oh no! So sorry to hear about the loss of Banky.

  5. rowanaliya says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. I know how painful it is to loose a beloved companion. You post brings me to tears both picturing the excruciating events of your day and remembering going through them myself not long ago with Mountain. These furry friends touch our hearts when they leave, they leave huge gaping holes. I feel so grateful to have been Mountain’s chosen person and I cherish the memories I have.

    My heart goes out you Austin.

  6. ofopinions says:

    I am so sorry. I’m sure you’ve had many wonderful memories together to fall back on, even though they could never replace the real comfort of having your friend near.

  7. Dammit!

    I am crying along with you, Austin.

    The photos of Banky remind me of a cat I once owned – Clyde the Cat.

    I hope Clyde and Banky get to play together in Kitty Cat Heaven. I think they would probably like each other.

  8. ksbeth says:

    i’m so sorry and happy that you had each other to share the years with.

    • Austin says:

      I’m trying to see it from the positive and realize how lucky I was to have had a kitty for 16 years. 🙂

      • My Renzo, who looked like the other black cat in the photo (with a bit of white) lived to be 20 years old and a few months. He was a stray kitten someone was fostering and couldn’t keep. He was part-Siamese with quite the voice. Every winter, he complained about the snow… He died of kidney failure last June – he died in my home office before I could get him to the vet’s for the sad appointment, which I had already made as he had also stopped eating and drinking. I miss him terribly. However friends in my housing co-op insisted that I take another black cat. She is entirely black and also shorthaired, and very tiny indeed. Livia looks like a half-grown kitten but is almost 3 years old now.

        Yes, we have to try to remain positive about the lives we’ve had with them.

      • Austin says:

        I’m sorry for your loss. I have since adopted Cali and Luna to keep me company since Banky left…

  9. JackieP says:

    This moved me to tears. I love animals and remember how very difficult it is when they have to leave. My heart goes out to you. And Banky is still there in spirit.

  10. courtney says:

    I’m sorry for your loss.

  11. Condolences about Banky, a much beloved Banky. It is a hard,hard time for you, but know he depended upon you to do the right thing for him, and you did not let him down. His spirit will still visit you.

  12. belsbror says:

    So sorry for your loss.

  13. Aww you made me cry 😦 Rest in peace wee Banky x

  14. D. Parker says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Banky looked like a stalwart friend.
    As a person who loves cats I understand this loss.
    Those who touch our hearts stay in them forever and I believe that’s true with cats as well.
    I hope that writing about Banky has helped. 🙂
    Sending virtual hugs.

  15. Please accept my condolences for the loss of Banky. Sounds he enjoyed his time with you. ❤

  16. My condolences for your loss. That final parting is never an easy one, but I think you did everything you could to remind Banky of how much he was loved. Banky reminds me so much of our beloved Shadow who passed in 2001. He sounds like a very dear cat.

  17. S3qu3l says:

    Sorry for your lost..
    Rest in Peace Banky 😥
    You probably have guardian angel by your side right now..

  18. karen698 says:

    So sorry, Austin.

  19. jaypochapin says:

    Please accept my condolences for your loss. Banky’s passing has a particular resonance for me. Tolstoi (or “His Nibs” as my late father had dubbed him) was very much my own boon companion and – like Banky – a black cat with gold eyes. A Steelers cat in the Steel City.

    Ultimately I had to surrender him because he was such a bachelor cat he could not adjust when my wife and stepdaughter joined our household. He has doubtless passed on by now. I still miss him.

    Please know that time heals everything.

    Please know you are in our prayers.

  20. My condolences in your loss. This brought back memories of one of our much loved family members (aka cat)

  21. Karen says:

    I’m so sorry. They break our hearts in the end, don’t they — but it’s worth it to have them for the time that we do.

    Banky was very loved, and that’s all any cat — or human — can ask. He was lucky to have you.

  22. JED says:

    So sorry for your loss. 16 years is a long time and I know it is tough.

  23. So, so sorry! Your post brings back memories from one year ago of a vet visit I to had to make with my 16 year old little dog. Such a hard decision to release the guilt of wanting to keep them with you and deciding to let them go because you love them. My Gracie cat is 13, she is my constant non-judgmental friend as Banky was yours, I can’t imagine the day i will have to say good-bye to her. My heart truly hurts for you 😢

  24. Three years ago I went through the loss of Dillon–my German Shepherd. I share your sense of loss and wish you well.

  25. floridaborne says:

    That was such a warm and loving tribute to a best friend. You know that I just lost the best dog ever and understand the tears and comfort food. Know that there are a whole lot of people in cyberspace who understand.

    • Austin says:

      I’m glad you like the post. I keep reading it and making myself cry, but it also comforts me.

      I’m sorry for your loss. This is so hard…

  26. V says:

    I’m so sorry to hear this. I am crying too now. Pets are so special to us

  27. Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
    HIS FURRY FRIEND…WHO CAN BEAR TO SAY GOODBYE? OUR HEARTS ARE SADDENED BY THE LOSS!!!!!

  28. I’m so sorry, Austin. 😦 What horrible news…
    Wish I could give you a hug.

  29. pajarigirls says:

    So sorry for your loss, Austin. 😦

  30. Marc-André says:

    Oh no :(. So sorry to hear!

  31. markbialczak says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss, Austin. Here’s to your pal Banky, sir Banklyn McFranklin, the black ball of fur who kept you in good companionship for these many wonderful years in California and Maine. The sadness will linger, my friend, but the memory of the good times with that darn cat will prevail over time. Hang in there.

  32. tric says:

    Bloody animals. They break your heart. I am so sorry for your loss Austin. xx

  33. LucyJartz says:

    Thank you for sharing the early days with Banky and treasuring the memories. I am sad for your loss.

  34. Norm 2.0 says:

    A lovely tribute to your dear friend. My condolences for your loss.

  35. My girls are healthy right now, but I know I’ll outlive them and the mere thought devastates me, so I try not to dwell. There are no words to convey how sorry I am that you’re going through this loss. *hugs*

  36. Joseph Nebus says:

    I’m sorry.

    It’s been a rough couple weeks for my acquaintances; I know of four cats to have died after long lives in the past two weeks. It’s terrible.

  37. E. says:

    Oh my! I’m so sorry to hear about this. I’m sure Banky knew that he was loved.

  38. I’m so sorry. Even when you know you’re doing the right thing to stop them from suffering, It’s really rough.

  39. Sorry to hear this 😦

  40. Sorry, friend. Not easy.

  41. janeybgood says:

    My cat passed away recently too so I feel your pain. I had the exact same reaction; I just came home and hid all her things. I stayed in bed for two days and cried and I had to leave the light on at night. Your reaction shows what a good person you are 🙂 I really hope you start to feel better.

  42. cat9984 says:

    Austin – I’m so sorry. It’s funny how they manage to snuggle into our hearts and leave a hole there when they’re gone.

  43. Marci says:

    Awwww – I just went back through your blog and found this. I’m sure Banky had a lovely life with you. Obviously it takes time, but I hope that your sadness is fading, and that each day you remember your happy times with Banky. ❤ ❤ ❤

  44. Pingback: CARING FOR OTHERS’ PETS TEMPORARILY – Part 3 (or Alice Makes A Sweet Angel) | Puppy Dog Tales

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