I had a very vivid dream last night that was fresh in my mind when I awakened. It led me to want to write emails to two of the most important people in my life. The first one, I wrote after much pacing around The House on the Hill. Deep in thought, I penned the entire letter in my head, mentally rewrote it several times, and then finally sat down at the laptop to compose it.
The second email was going to take even more Deep Thought, so I put on my Running Toga and decided that I’d work it out over a 3 mile run.
Relationship sure are difficult, aren’t they? Ironically, the easier email to write was the one to The Girl Who Ran Off With My Heart. When you love someone, it’s easier to find the words to get that across and communicate what you want to say.
The second email, the one that had me lost in Deep Thoughts on my morning run, was to a very good friend who has vanished from my life. I have a tendency to push people away, Modern Philosophers, but in this case, I don’t think I did anything wrong. I’ve allowed the friend to drift away because I didn’t know what to say or do to get her back. It simply became easier to accept that she was gone.
Something about that dream, however, left me wanting to talk to her again. She wasn’t even in the dream, but I woke up with a very clear desire to write to her and reopen the lines of communication between us.
I spent my entire run working on the email in my head. I was so engrossed in that endeavor that I didn’t seem to remember that this was my sixth run in nine days, so my legs were probably sore. For the second straight morning, I put my body on autopilot and trusted it to keep me on the shoulder and not allow me to drift out into traffic.
I knew I had one shot to get across what I wanted to say in an email, so I wanted to make it perfect. She wouldn’t read something rambling, so I had to get to the point right away. There could be no insinuation that she was at fault for the silence between us because that would make her delete the email without replying. However, if I could work in a little guilt, that might really help.
I don’t know how many times I rewrote that email in my head, but I have hardly any memory of my morning run. That’s how deep my thoughts were.
Both emails have been sent. Thus far, neither of the VIPs has responded. So maybe my thoughts didn’t run deep enough? I guess I’ll just have to wait and see. I really hope they reply…