Pizza And the Werewolf

werewolfWhat an incredibly gorgeous Summer day this has been, Modern Philosophers!

When I went for my morning run, it was so chilly that I almost put on my heavy Running Toga.  Right now, however, it is warm, sunny, and there’s a nice breeze that’s keeping it from being gross and sticky.

While chained to my desk at work, I stared longingly out the window, wishing I could be out in that Summer Sun.  Right before I was paroled for the day, my good buddy Gary Lincoln called.  He wanted to stop by The House on the Hill to hang out, and he sweetened the deal by promising to bring a pizza.

I was sold.  Pizza, good conversation, and a little Sunshine Therapy sounded like a perfect evening for this Modern Philosopher.  Plus, it’s always fun to spend time with Gary, who moonlights (bad pun intended) as the Leader of Maine’s Largest Pack of Werewolves.

“This month’s Supermoon has got me worn out,” Gary declared as he tore into his pizza.  “I don’t know if there’s any scientific proof to it, but I swear the Supermoon enhances our Wolf traits.  The whole pack was running longer, harder, and faster.  We were howling louder.  Our senses were more enhanced.  It was pretty awesome, but also totally draining.  I’ve had to call out sick from work the last two days.”

supermoonWe toasted the Supermoon and personal days with our bottles of Snapple.  “Do you get more new recruits when there’s a Supermoon?” I asked.

“Most definitely,” he confirmed as he got to work on his second slice of pizza.  “Summer attracts new pack members because people love the idea of running wild and free along the beach.  The pull of the Supermoon only makes that urge to unleash the beast even stronger.”

“What people don’t realize,” he continued between bites, “is that Winter is actually the best time to run with the pack.  Dashing across freshly fallen snow and hearing is crackle beneath your paws, while the wind is whipping at your fur and a little icicle is forming at the edge of your snout…that’s what being a Werewolf is all about, my friend.”

Gary gave me the same look he always gave me when he talked about running with the pack.  The one that asked me why I hadn’t yet taken the plunge.  I know he so badly wanted me to join his pack, but something inside me (the voice of reason?) would not allow me to volunteer my loyalty.

I was really enjoying my porch time with Gary, the pizza was filling my tummy, and the conversation was tickling my brain.  I felt confident enough to finally ask him something that had been on my mind for the longest time.

pizza“How come you’re so clean cut?” I asked as he helped himself to another slice.  “Don’t you miss all your Werewolf fur?  How come you don’t let your hair get long and grow a wild beard?  Maybe let the eyebrows get a little out of control?”

Gary laughed so hard that I thought he was going to choke.  “How long have you been forming Deep Thoughts on those ideas?”

“Longer than I’m ever going to admit,” I countered and popped another Snapple.

“I like to keep the two lives separate,” Gary answered.  “It’s not like I wear my favorite shirt or put on my usual cologne when I’m a Werewolf.  When I make the change, it’s all about unleashing something inside of me that cannot come out when the moon isn’t full.  So when I’m just plain, old Gary, I like to keep my more lupine attributes under wraps.”

I watched him tear into yet another slice of pizza and quipped, “You could’ve fooled me with the way you’re devouring that pizza, Wolfman.”

Gary howled with laughter, and we both put our legs up on the porch rail and enjoyed the Summer Sun and the refreshing August breeze…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Pizza And the Werewolf

  1. tuinkabouter1965 says:

    Sounds like great fun 😉

  2. D. Parker says:

    This helps me out with my wondering if the #Supermoon enhances werewolf stuff in my post about Supermoon vs. Gravity. Gary is very helpful…although he sounds very hungry. 🙂

  3. I can really see you two chowing down on pizza and sharing moon stories…

  4. Baad Seher says:

    wow! just wow 😉

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