At Least The Devil Saved A Ton Of Money

DevilI sighed and turned off the television in disgust.

“Aren’t we going to watch the Yankees?” The Devil asked in confusion from his end of the couch.

I just shot him a look as I downed the rest of my Snapple in one long gulp.  The Jets had just lost to the Packers after blowing a 21-3 lead.  I was not happy.

“I bet you regret sending those taunting texts,” Lucifer said with a chuckle as he reached for the bowl of chips.

He was right.  When my beloved Jets had jumped out to the big lead, I had sent a few text messages to The Girl Who Loves The Packers.  I couldn’t help myself.  I love her, but we are fiercely competitive whenever any of our teams face off.

“Maybe,” I replied solemnly as I removed my Jets jersey like I was afraid the bad luck involved with it might be contagious.

“Look, I know you’re upset, but you should be happy for me,” the Prince of Darkness informed me as he passed me a fresh Snapple from the cooler.

“Why is that?” I asked with irritation in my voice.  I hate it when the Jets get my hopes up, and then dash them like this.  It seems to happen multiple times every season.  “Did Packers fans promise you their souls if their team won today?”

The Devil chuckled.  “Get real, Austin.  We’re talking about your pathetic Jets.  No one would ever trade their eternal soul in return for a victory over a team that always finds a way to lose.”

Lucifer had a point, so I just shrugged and opened my Snapple.  The fact until the bottle cap was nothing exciting, so I tossed the cap aside and took a sip.  “So why should I be happy for you?”

jetsSatan’s eyes lit up like he had been dying for me to ask.  “Because if the Jets had actually beaten the Packers, it would’ve meant that Hell had frozen over.  Do you have any idea how much it costs to thaw out that place?”

I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of my laughter, but I couldn’t help myself.  That was a good one.

“I don’t know why I keep letting you back into this house,” I muttered as I turned on the TV.

I figured watching the Yankees might ease the pain of the Jets’ loss.  Then again, with the way the Yanks have been playing lately, things might just get worse…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to At Least The Devil Saved A Ton Of Money

  1. Dear The Girl Who Loves the Packers,

    Go Pack Go!

    Signed,
    The Dumbass Who Has Been a Packers Fan for Over 50 Years 😀

  2. rowanaliya says:

    I think hell did freeze over, The Browns beat the Saints. What?!

  3. Alexandra says:

    This post made me laugh! You’re very creative; thanks for the post!

  4. markbialczak says:

    How about that time out, Austin. I didn’t check to see if Marty has his job this morning. WTF was he thinking? Our Jets, our Jets, our stinking Jets.

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