I very rarely talk about my secret desire to live in an Amish society, Modern Philosophers, but every once in a while, that urge creeps up on me. There are just so many times a guy can watch Witness before he wants to move to Pennsylvania Dutch Country, and lead a much simpler life.
Sometimes, I’ve got to bring a little bit of that Amish pizzazz to my life because down deep, I know I’d never be able to go give up all my gadgets. Even though it’s obvious that living the Amish Life would be the surest way to fight off The Machines and avoid The Robot Apocalypse, I just can’t do it.
How else would I write this silly blog? Or share my annoyingly bad humor on Twitter? Or rabidly follow the Yankees throughout the baseball season?
Since I couldn’t arrange for a good, old fashioned barn raising, I had a desk raising instead. A desk raising is basically Amish Lite, but it still gets a good buzz going, and distracts me from what ails me.
As I’ve written previously, my desk chair has revealed its true colors as a Medieval torture device. All the adjusting to the chair can’t make my back hurt less during the work day, so the HR lady finally suggested we raise my desk.
All the desks in our new office are the exact same height. I’m 6’3″ and the coworker who sits next to me is maybe 5′, and yet, our desks are the same height. A desk raising sounded like a really good idea.
It did wonders for my morale, if nothing else. Everyone gathering together as a community to raise my desk. The singing. The laughing. The churning of butter.
I’m not really sure if the desk raising has helped my back problem. I was still fidgeting in my desk all day, but maybe that was because of my uncomfortable Amish beard. Plus, it took me forever to get to work this morning in my horse and buggy, and riding in that vehicle only made my back pain worse.
I guess I should just admit that something very bad happened tonight, Modern Philosophers. I received some news that devastated me, and I thought that if I just tried to write my blog as I normally would, all would be well.
Clearly, though, that did not work. My heart is broken and I’m incredibly sad. I really can’t be funny, when I’m wiping tears from my face every few seconds.
Thanks for putting up with this lame post. I’m going to probably go all Amish and disappear for a little while as I try to mend. Hopefully, it won’t be too long because I really do enjoy sharing my silly Deep Thoughts with you.
I’m also going to post this photo of Charlie from Revolution. I intended to write about how if I had to live in a society with no power and no social media devices, I would probably only survive if I had a girlfriend like Charlie by my side.
The irony of it all is that if I were Amish, I wouldn’t have been able to receive the phone call that brought the devastating news…
Hopefully, this Apocalypse of my Heart will not last too long and I’ll be back soon…