I Was Escorted Off The Stage (But In A Good Way!)

StatueI was escorted off the stage of The Gracie Theatre during my television acting debut tonight, Modern Philosophers.  And it was awesome!

As I’ve mentioned, I wrote a sketch that was used in tonight’s taping of The Nite Show With Danny Cashman.   In a moment of utter insanity, I told Danny that I wanted to star in the sketch, too.

Well, Danny called my bluff, and tonight I had to get up in front of a live TV audience and all those cameras, to show off my (lack of) acting skills.

To give you an idea of how terrifying this was, we pulled this off without any sort of rehearsal.  When we performed the sketch, it was the first time any of us had said any of the lines aloud in the presence of another.

I don’t even remember how many of my jokes were used in the monologues because I was  going over my lines repeatedly from my seat in the back of the beautiful theater.  I don’t want to post any photos of the stage yet and ruin the surprise, but that statue in the first photo is in the hallway outside the theater.  I just thought it was cool.

audienceHere’s a shot of the audience taken from my hiding spot deep in the back.

Those folks didn’t know it yet, but soon after that photo was taken, they would be laughing uproariously at me.

Want to know a great way to calm your nerves before going out on stage?  Have two gorgeous NESCOM crew members fuss over you as they try to find the best pic pic to attach to your hoodie for the sketch.  These young ladies were not only amazing at their jobs, but also quite easy on the eyes.  They finally got me set up with my mic about ten seconds before my cue to hit the stage.

No time to be nervous under those conditions.

I’ve got to say, Modern Philosophers, it was quite the rush walking out there.  I don’t want to give away too much before the show airs, but the name of the sketch was “The Incorrigible Intern”.  To help sell the illusion that I was an intern on The Nite Show, I sat at the ticket counter before the show, and then worked as an usher when the doors first opened.  I walked around the theater in costume so that people would see me, and understand that I worked for the show.

That way, when Danny called me out onto the stage to scold me, it would make for a truly surreal moment.  Most of the audience probably thought I was about to be fired for messing up, and then giving Danny some lip.

nite logoI’d like to boast that I didn’t flub any of my lines, which I recited from memory.  Mr. Hot Shot TV Host had the script on his desk, and was able to refer to it when needed.  I was acting without a net, baby, and I made it out alive!

There was a lot of laughter during the sketch, which boosted my confidence as we made our way through it.

Like I said, we hadn’t rehearsed it, so I wasn’t quite ready for Joe Kennedy, Danny’s sidekick, to manhandle me off the stage at the end, but it worked really well.  I yelled out my finally lines as I was being dragged into the wings.  Great stuff!

After the show, several audience members came over to congratulate me.  One even said, “I hope he didn’t really fire you.”

I think it was a good night.  Don’t worry, Jim Parsons, I’m not coming after your Emmy Award, but I might be up for getting in front of the camera again.  I better start writing myself into more sketches…

Remember, you can follow The Nite Show on Twitter @TheNiteShowME.  Feel free to tweet to the show that Austin should get more air time!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

30 Responses to I Was Escorted Off The Stage (But In A Good Way!)

  1. markbialczak says:

    Way to go, Austin. Another line for the resume. You better get some head shots, taken, too, my friend. Next stop … you could be next to Jim Parsons and gang on “The Big Bang Theory.” Say hello to Kelly Cuoco for me!

  2. floridaborne says:

    We knew you could do it! 🙂

  3. I still want my free lobster!

    • Austin says:

      You did as great job with your part, Dave. While I didn’t have anyone particular in mind for that role, you brought it to life in a way that would make any writer proud. You did my words justice.. 😉

  4. Ned's Blog says:

    Well done, Austin! Your SAG card is in the mail! 😉

  5. Yay! I’m so glad it went well.

  6. ksbeth says:

    that’s great, austin –

  7. Sounds exciting. You never know where this might lead. 😛

  8. Lorra B. says:

    Outstanding Austin! Man, to have been a fly on the wall… What an absolute blast that must have been. How many folks not only get their material on the air but also get to act in the show as well? Couldn’t be happier for you! Must have been a rush for sure. 😊

  9. Congratulations on your acting debut. It sounds as if you really enjoyed it.

  10. barbtaub says:

    Sorry I’m a day late for Susie’s party (travelling all day yesterday) but I’m so glad to be here. Of course, now I have to follow your adventures, if only to say I know a famous…actor.

  11. rowanaliya says:

    Congrats on your big debut!

  12. You’re headed for the big time!! Don’t forget the little people!! 🙂

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