Rejects Academy 2: Rise Of The Rejects

RejectionHappy Sunday, Modern Philosophers!

A new episode of The Nite Show With Danny Cashman aired last night, which means that I can share some of my jokes that did not make it onto TV.

Danny used three of my jokes in his monologue this week, including the one about The Big Bang Theory and Thursday Night Football, which was my favorite of the batch.  Of course, this is all just part of the buildup to next week’s show during which I will be making my TV acting debut in a sketch that I wrote.

For now, though, let’s give some of the Rejects their moment in the spotlight…

It’s October, which means it’s time for Oktoberfest.  To celebrate, our friends at the Sea Dog Brewer Company are offering a special seasonal beer named after Maine Governor Paul LePage.  Like its namesake, the beer is bitter, full-bodied, and will not be around long after Election Day…

The real reason NFL Commissioner Roger Godell did not watch the Ray Rice security camera footage sooner is because no one followed proper NFL procedure and tossed out the red challenge flag to demand that the replay be reviewed…

nite show OctAccording to NBC, there is no truth to the rumor that this season of its hit show “The Black List” will focus on Red Reddington divulging to Commissioner Roger Goodell the name of all the NFL players who committed horrendous crimes during the off season…

Sugar Bear and Mama June from “Honey Boo Boo” have split up.  Both parties made a statement about the split, but since it was not subtitled, no one has any idea what the hell was said…

It’s one month until Election Day, or as Governor LePage’s speech writer likes to think of it: “Thirty days to really perfect that concession speech…”

The iPhone6 is out.  Despite how incredibly advanced cell phone technology has gotten, companies still haven’t managed to come up with a phone that calls our mothers as much as they’d like us to…

The new season of “The Walking Dead” premieres next weekend.  If you’re not familiar with the show, it’s the only one on TV whose Governor is more despised than Maine’s…

nite logoOn this date in history, The Meadowlands Arena in NJ officially opened its doors in 1981.  Of course, its foundation had been open for the burial of the victims of Mob hits since 1980…

What do you think, Modern Philosophers?  Did any of the rejects make you laugh?

The Nite Show With Danny Cashman airs on Saturday nights in Maine.  If you don’t live in Maine, you can still support the show by liking its Facebook page, or by following it on Twitter @TheNiteShowME.

Don’t forget, you can follow me on Twitter as well @Austin_Hodgens.

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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19 Responses to Rejects Academy 2: Rise Of The Rejects

  1. Lorra B. says:

    HAHAHA! Those were great! My favorite was the Octoberfest…

  2. grannyK says:

    The Honey Boo Boo one is hysterical!!

  3. You really are much too deep for me…

  4. ksfinblog says:

    I would love Red putting his hit list on …..ahem certain individuals… 🙂

  5. Not being a fan of the sideshow debacle known as “Honey Boo Boo,” that joke was funny in a sad sort of way.

  6. D. Parker says:

    The Walking Dead joke…funny, well, they all were funny except I’m fixated on TWD because I can’t wait for next weekend…which coincidentally is Canada’s Thanksgiving weekend. Turkey and zombies, yummy. 😉

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