According to figures supplied by the All Hallows Society, which oversees all aspects of Maine’s Halloween Season, sales of Mayor McCheese costumes are outpacing those of Governor LePage by a 4 to 1 margin.
“While both costumes are of politicians with giant heads who smell like hamburgers, the Mayor McCheese one is by far the favorite,” Tamara Burton, Chairwoman of the Maine Halloween Season Festival, explained to this Modern Philosopher. “Everyone wants to be associated with a winner. Besides, the Governor LePage costume is far too frightening.”
According to retailers, the Governor LePage costume, which consists of a cheap suit, padding for underneath the suit to better replicate the Governor’s girth, and an extremely scary mask, has never been a fan favorite.
“We’ve sold a few to some fraternity brothers who wanted to haze their pledges, and to the Young Democrats of Maine for their Haunted House, but other than that, we’ve had to throw them into the bargain bin to make more room for the Mayor McCheese ones,” shared Clyde Barreau, owner of Clyde’s Costume Costume Closet in Bangor.
No one from Governor LePage’s office would comment on the record, but one anonymous staffer told this Modern Philosopher, “The mask is scary, but not nearly as frightening as the real thing. A bunch of us bought a costume, stuffed it with pillows, and hid it in the basement of The Blaine House. After a long day, we’ll go down to the cellar and beat the crap out of it with baseball bats. It’s the best therapy…”
The camp of Governor LePage’s main challenger in the upcoming Gubernatorial Election was more than willing to supply me with comments. Zeus, Father of the Greek Gods and Mayor McCheese’s campaign manager told me, “I hope Mainers display the same excellent taste when they go to the polls on Election Day. It’s one thing to pretend to be the next Governor of Maine on Halloween, but it’s an entirely different thing to cast their votes and give him four years to prove he is a major improvement over Governor LePage.”
“I thought about wearing the Governor LePage costume to our staff Halloween Party,” Zeus continued, “but I was afraid of being chased out of Maine by angry villagers with pitchforks and torches.”
According to the latest polls, Mayor McCheese holds a commanding 10 point lead over Governor LePage, but Zeus is not ready to declare victory yet.
“We know there are still a lot of undecided voters out there, and people who might not like the idea of an Otherworldly Being winning the election, so we will continue to campaign right down to the minute voting ends,” Zeus assured me.
What about the rumor that the Burger King himself might come to Maine to campaign for LePage?
“The only king Mainers are influenced by is Stephen King,” Zeus replied with a chuckle. “We just want everyone to enjoy the Halloween Season and then to vote with their hearts on Election Day.”