Analysts Baffled By Maine’s Egg And Toilet Paper Shortage

As Halloween quickly approaches, I want to remind all Modern Philosophers to stock up on toilet paper and eggs just in case there’s another shortage like there was last year…

The Return of the Modern Philosopher

rollsApparently, Maine has caught the attention of economists and market analysts, Modern Philosophers.

According to a report released on, several of the big brain, number crunching, what’s going on with the economy types are befuddled by the current shortage of eggs and toilet paper in this state.

“It doesn’t make any sense whatsoever,” Edward Mooney, a partner at the market watchdog firm Munney, Mooney, and Monet, told this Modern Philosopher.  “Eggs and toilet paper are staples of all classes, and Maine is a state that produces a large percentage of the eggs its residents eat.  There’s no reason there should be a shortage.”

eggsI was intrigued, so I kept Mr. Mooney on the phone with my long, rambling questions about eggs, toilet paper, and their affects on the American economy.  “When All-American staples begin to disappear from the shelves, economists like myself have to take a step back and…

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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