I Advise You To Stay Away From The Windows

BlutoDear Modern Philosopher,

It’s the end of the world as we know it…and I don’t feel fine at all!

Maybe I’m being overly dramatic, but allow me to explain.  When I awoke this morning, after last night’s hour of time travel from turning back the clocks, I expected to find a bright, sunny day.

However, when I walked to the window and pulled back the curtain, all I saw was white.  There was a blanket of it on the ground, and even more of it falling from the sky.

The first snow had arrived while I slept.  How can it be snowing already?  It was just Halloween!  It’s not Winter for another three weeks.

And the weather people are saying there’s going to be “significant accumulation”.  That’s a negative diagnosis if I’ve ever heard one!

What do I do?  Sunday is supposed to be my day of rest, and now I’m going to spend it shoveling snow and worrying about how much is going to fall on us before it’s all done.

Winter should wait it’s turn.  It’s the leaves’ time to fall now!

Living In A Winter Non-Wonderland

Snow MiserDear Living,

Believe me, I feel your pain.  It is snowing in Maine, too.

If I’ve learned anything from my decade living up here, it’s that it makes absolutely zero sense to try to fight Snow Miser.

He comes and goes as he pleases, and if he protests, it only results in a harsher Winter.  Snow Miser feeds off confrontation and loves to prove that he is in control.

I advise you to stay away from the windows.  Watching the snow isn’t going to make it accumulate any more or less.  It’s still going to be out there if you provide it with an audience, or simply ignore it.

So just enjoy your day of rest.  Watch football, read a good book, curl up on the couch with a steamy mug of hot cocoa.  Don’t let Snow Miser get into your head!

Winter’s here, and it’s not going anywhere.  You’ve got to treat this like the marathon that it is and just hunker down.  If you freak out because of the first snowstorm, what do you think is going to happen by the time the sixth one pummels your town?

Don’t give that snow any more thought.  The silver lining in those storm clouds is that it’s a Sunday, so you have all day to deal with clearing the snow, and you don’t have to commute in it.  Take a snow day and relax…

Happy Sunday!

Austin

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

23 Responses to I Advise You To Stay Away From The Windows

  1. markbialczak says:

    Three more weeks? If winter followed the calendar, we’d be set for seven more weeks folks. Alas, as we know up north, Austin, the Snow Miser has other ideas. No accumulation in Syracuse as you have in Maine. Knock on wood. Because living in the city neighborhood of Eastwood, we’re not in the ‘higher elevations’ as weather forecaster called it for the white stuff last night. It’s coming. Sigh. With the leaves on the trees. Sigh sigh.

  2. floridaborne says:

    Last night in North Florida it got down to 37 degrees. That close to October! It should be 80’s in the day and 60’s at night. The difference is that in Maine you’re shoveling snow. In Florida, we’re bringing out the electric blankets a few months early. So much for Global Warming. 🙂

  3. grannyK says:

    I don’t like the cold, but I have to admit there is some beauty in it. It rained HARD yesterday and then the temp plummeted. This morning, the bush outside of my window is covered in perfectly frozen drops of water, as if they froze instantly before they could fall. Kind of pretty. The not pretty ice is the kind on my car. I hate scraping that stuff off!!

  4. You write really well <33

  5. List of X says:

    Sounds like the time machine has transported you a few weeks forward, instead of back into the summer. Oh well, even Doc Brown’s Delorean had a buggy system.

  6. Brutal Snow Miser. He has no heart at all. Sorry for you pain. We were only teased with a snow shower. You got the real deal, huh? Sigh.

  7. louise says:

    Omg.austin that was funny….gets like that when the weather tricks us…..its currently 98f here & the locals can only wish for that ‘water’

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