Last night, I had a very vivid dream that I had moved to Canada. I seemed to have done it without giving much thought to the move because I didn’t know anyone, I didn’t have a job waiting for me, and the residence into which I moved didn’t have a cool name like The House on the Hill.
What’s up with this dream, eh?
To further complicate matters, I moved on my birthday. Then I was very disappointed when my friends didn’t surprise me with a Birthday Party in my new place. Some of them even sent angry emails asking me why the hell I would move to Canada. One friend asked me “Wasn’t Maine remote enough for you?”
So what is up with the anti-Canada sentiment?
What the heck is that? Why did Dream Austin even think such an item existed? Would it just be like an American resume with more references to hockey, the Queen, and SCTV sprinkled in with the rest of the information?
After that, I couldn’t bring myself to leave my new home to begin my job search because I couldn’t remember if Canadians drove on the left or right side of the road. Then I feared that I had moved to a French speaking part of the Great White North, and my high school French was incredibly rusty.
If I had died in that dream, would I have woken up in Canada in real life?
I don’t really give much thought to my dreams unless they can be used in a screenplay. For some reason, though, this one really stayed with me all day.
I found myself humming the Canadian National Anthem while in the bathroom at work.
On my lunch break, I looked up the score of the Islanders game, and checked to see where they were in the standing…even though I haven’t really followed them in years.
I even thought to myself that a friend was “such a hoser” after she said something incredibly stupid to me later in the day.
One, two, Canada’s coming for you
Three, four, better lock your door
Five, six, grab your hockey sticks
Seven, eight, Gretzky really is great
Nine, ten, never sleep in America again…
If anyone would care to interpret that dream, please have at it. I need to know if it’s safe to try to sleep tonight, or if I should do everything in my power to stay awake.
I know it looks beautiful, but a Canadian Nightmare is no American Dream…