While no one was killed in the accident, several crew members were injured and rushed to area hospitals. Perhaps even more importantly, Modern Philosophers, nearly 900 gallons of gravy was lost.
“It looks like it might be a very dry Thanksgiving in Maine,” Marty Huff, Regional Manager of Gravy Express, explained to this Modern Philosopher. “That load was meant to hold over the state for the holiday. We’re not sure if more can be made and transported in time for Thanksgiving.”
Maine Authorities have joined their counterparts in New Hampshire, as well as officials from the National Transportation Safety Board, in investigating the incident.
“Any time there is this much of a substance spilled, the NTSB is obligated to get involved,” Agent Lawrence Osborne told me. “Turkey gravy might not be dangerous to the environment, but the loss of such a large quantity this close to Thanksgiving could lead to a national panic.”
There has been no word yet as to whether the incident was an act of sabotage, operator error, or just a mere accident.
One witness, however, places a group of about twenty turkeys in the area near where the train went off the rails. Authorities are seeking these birds for questioning.
On a related topic, I can’t get the words “I’m going off the rails on a gravy train” out of my head, and it’s beginning to give me a headache.
Are there no other options for Mainers wishing to enjoy a gravy laden Thanksgiving feast? One Deep Thinker has proposed a Gravy Boat be sent from Europe with enough liquid gold to save the holiday. Others have suggested that Mainers switch to ham and postpone the turkey dinner until more supplies can arrive at Christmas.
But it wouldn’t be Turkey Day if we had ham, people! The Maine Department of Holidays has set up a hotline for anyone who would like to donate gravy to Mainers in need. The number is 207-GRAVYME.
Won’t you do what you can to save us from a dry Thanksgiving? I can assure you that Mainers will be extremely thankful…