Thanksgiving Seeks Injunction To Ban Christmas Ads Until Black Friday

PilgrimsThanksgiving filed an injunction today in Bangor Superior Court, Modern Philosophers, to block all Christmas advertising until Black Friday, otherwise known as the day after Thanksgiving.

The request seeks that Christmas commercials, advertisements and the like be banned in all media forms throughout the United States.

Why the lawsuit?  Why Maine?  “Thanksgiving is beginning to feel completely ignored by the American public,” Cy Brown, Maine’s greatest lawyer, explained to this Modern Philosopher.  “The second Halloween ends, and as we know, Halloween Season is huge in Maine, focus is turned immediately to Christmas.  Thanksgiving has become America’s redheaded stepchild, and it wants some attention.”

cornucopia“As for why my client had me file the injunction in Maine, where else in the United States could a Holiday be considered an individual with the power to bring legal action against another Holiday?”

And that is why, Modern Philosophers, Cy Brown is the greatest lawyer in Maine!

I did some quick research, and it turns out that an average of 10,000 Christmas related advertisements have aired in Maine every day since November 1.  That’s overwhelming for the weeks leading up to Christmas, but these numbers are for the month before Santa gives any thought to coming to town.

“It’s just too much,” Cy said with a sigh, “and I’m not just saying that because I’m Jewish.  If there were that many Hanukkah ads bombarding us on a daily basis, I’d feel just as strongly about it.  Thanksgiving is losing its season, and we have to fight to make sure that doesn’t happen.  Christmas needs to back off and give Thanksgiving its space.”

grinchI called the North Pole for a comment, and Santa Claus was much too busy to talk to me.  Luckily, his brother Fred was available.

“Austin, when did Thanksgiving turn all green and hairy, with a heart about a hundred sizes too small?  Doesn’t this lawsuit sound a little Grinchy to you?”

“We’re all up here, working our fingers to the bone,” Fred yelled through the phone as if he thought his voice had to carry from The North Pole to Maine.  “Sure with the Elves, we’re talking really tiny fingers, but they’re those fat, stubby, sausage kinda ones, so it takes a lot to get through all that pudge to the bone.  The last thing we want to hear is that Christmas needs to dial it back and take it down a few notches.  Christmas is an intense Holiday, and we’ve got to approach it like we’ve got a three cases of Red Bull per day habit, if you catch my drift, my friend.  How’s it hanging anyway?  That toga keeping the boys warm?”

Ah, Fred.  Always the right balance of enthusiastic and inappropriate.  How I miss talking to him over the course of the year.

ChristmasHe does have a point, though, Modern Philosophers.  Could Christmas even pull back if it wanted?  Haven’t we turned it into this behemoth that needs an almost two month run up to the big day?  Should the courts even stick their noses into this one, or should the Holidays just find a way to work it out amongst themselves?

What do you guys think?

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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24 Responses to Thanksgiving Seeks Injunction To Ban Christmas Ads Until Black Friday

  1. I’d sustain the injunction. It’s bad enough I saw pine bows up before Halloween ended. Instead of creeping up into Thanksgiving’s back yard, it has a whole lot more time to be pushed back until it hits Valentines day. Having Christmas in January would make Winter feel better anyway.

  2. Pingback: Three Chairs On A Porch: Two Holiday Icons And A Guy Born On Little Christmas | The Return of the Modern Philosopher

  3. Like a red giant star, Christmas has bloated up and already swallowed Thanksgiving–sorry Tom Turkey. Now our favorite holiday fatty is moving on to Halloween. That’s the holiday I’m worried about. 🙂

  4. ksbeth says:

    watch ‘nightmare before christmas’ and you will just enjoy celebrating everything )

    • Austin says:

      I love that movie. I collect fun items from the flick. There are NBC snow globes, bobbleheads, and figures everywhere at The House on the Hill! 🙂

      • ksbeth says:

        me too ) back in my ad days, that was one of the films i did pr and promotion for – truly loved it.

      • Austin says:

        I’m so jealous! Did you get free stuff out of the deal?

      • ksbeth says:

        oh yeah, we had swag from everything, part of the whole promo game, and some really crazy stuff depending on the film and how big the studio’s budget was. one of the guys in our creative dept and i both loved this stuff and negotiated it between us. gave most of my jack skellington stuff to him when i changed careers.

      • Austin says:

        I used to collect it when we lived in LA, so we were able to go to the Disney Store and get stuff. There is still plenty available in Maine if you know where to find it. A love of collecting NBC stuff is something I share with The Girl Who Is My Sally.

      • ksbeth says:

        i’d send you my stuff if i still had it. we watched the film so many times that my middle daughter got up and sang the entire soundtrack live as we watched it when she was just a sprite. i’ve always thought it would make an amazing live musical on stage.

      • Austin says:

        It would. Danny Elfman did a great job on those songs. I have the soundtrack and blasted it in the office on Halloween. 🙂

  5. Marneymae says:

    i’m all for banning the ads.
    however, i’m all for banning the whole “black friday” thing as well.
    no ads. no decorations.
    let us all simply be with what is for pits sake.
    jeeez.
    seems like a very large wave in the culture with a lot of force, & momentum.
    still, a bow of respect for taking up the issue
    consider me in the injunction.

  6. Reblogged this on galesmind and commented:
    Can we add that no Thanksgiving ads be done until after Halloween? Some of the stores have all three on the aisles by the end of September. The way we are going the ads will be up for the 4th of July.

  7. Well……personally I could totally embrace no ads …..period. Can’t we celebrate the two supposedly spiritual holidays without massive marketing? But then, would that really be fair to the 1%ers? lol lol lol

  8. JED says:

    I guess the best thing about this is people are out there and looking forward to Christmas willing to spend money and enjoy it this year. Still the ads are a bit much, especially all the early Black Friday specials. I completely understand Thanksgiving’s point. Not sure how to handle it though, good thing the holiday has a good lawyer.

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