I Advise You To Stuff It Real Good!

BlutoDear Modern Philosopher,

I am in a pickle, and could really use your help.

I convinced my girlfriend, who I REALLY love, to allow me to prepare Thanksgiving dinner.  Her family lives far away and we don’t have the money to fly home for the holiday, so this gathering with her closest friends is very important to her.

I can’t mess it up.  Her friends are still on the fence about me, so I’m hoping to really wow them with my Thanksgiving feast.  Big picture, I want to propose on Christmas, so I need to kick off the Holiday Season with a bang, and get the friends to sign off on me.

I’ve never cooked Thanksgiving dinner before, so I’m afraid that I’ve bitten off more than I can chew.  My main issue, though, is the stuffing.  I know the stuffing is the key to any Thanksgiving dinner, and I’m not sure how to prepare it.

Some people and websites are all about preparing the stuffing inside the turkey, while others swear it tastes better if it is made separately, outside of the bird.  I can’t decide which way to go on this, and I need you to cast the deciding vote.

Am I stuffing this bird or not?

Stuffed Inside A Kitchen Nightmare

Turkey_dinnerDear Stuffed,

First off, my chef’s hat is off to you.  It was totally romantic to volunteer to prepare Thanksgiving dinner in order to make it perfect for your true love, who will be missing her family.

Secondly, very wise move to try to win over the friends before popping the question.

Clearly, you are a Hopeless Romantic and a Modern Philosopher.  That being the case, I really like your chances when you propose on Christmas.

As for your question about the stuffing, I’m not exactly an ace in the kitchen.  So I sought the advice of my three dear Witch friends, who know their way around a stove almost as well as they do a cauldron.

They answered in unison and without hesitation, so my advise is thus:

I advise you to stuff it real good!

If you really want to impress your girlfriend and her friends, you’ve got to prove to them that you know how to stuff a bird.  Sure, it takes skill, patience, and it helps if you know how to properly use your utensils, but if you stuff that turkey like a master, you’ll have everyone coming again for seconds and maybe even thirds.

So be a real man, and prove that you are a master of your kitchen and put your stuffing inside that turkey.

I think everyone will walk away from that table quite satisfied.

Good luck.  Happy Thanksgiving!


About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

34 Responses to I Advise You To Stuff It Real Good!

  1. raisinemreal says:

    You should advise him to consult Pintrest!!!

  2. The Hook says:

    Belushi was THE MAN!

  3. tmariadm says:

    Love Belushi…definitely one of my favourite people, and Thanksgiving dinner is always a tough go of it.

  4. Count me in. I’m stuffing it this year. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your followers!

  5. Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
    With Thanksgiving a useful practice run for Christmas Dinner, the question is to stuff or not to stuff….. the Turkey?

  6. NotAPunkRocker says:

    You’ll be fine, so go for it!

    If all else fails or you panic, order a meal from the grocery store. She should appreciate the efficiency, and time saved in the kitchen is more time y’all can spend together.

  7. Stuff that bird and make sure the stuffing is moist, not dry. Good luck.

  8. JED says:

    You forgot to tell him to do it in a Toga. Could make all the difference on a great stuffing!

  9. Very informative! Holidaytastic! My giblets grew 3 sizes today!

  10. grannyK says:

    **whispers** I don’t like stuffing. Sorry.

  11. orangejade5 says:

    Really?? is stuffing such a big issue over htere? Get him to watch how phil did it on Modern Family.. Now that was funny. Why does he not just whisk her away to the bahamas and have turkey clubs with cranberry instead. Far more romantic than trying to prove that he can cook. Anyway guys are better on the bbq. 🙂

  12. Reblogged this on galesmind and commented:
    I am with the philosopher but also make extra stuffing and bake it as well. You surely don’t want the friends to think you cheap. Good luck!!

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