Time Traveler Confirms That Football Was Played At The First Thanksgiving

thanksgivingI was watching the football game, which is a longstanding Thanksgiving tradition at The House on the Hill, when I was startled by a knock on the door.

Since The Devil and Seamus were already watching the game with me, I had no idea who could possibly be on my porch.  Why would anybody be out driving in this snow?

I was thrilled, Modern Philosophers, when I discovered that my unexpected Thanksgiving guest was Doc Brown!

“I just wanted to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving, and pass along some interesting news that you might want to use on the blog,” Doc explained after he gave me a big hug and wandered off into the living room to greet Satan and the Leprechaun.

I stuck my head out of the door to take a quick peek at the DeLorean, which was parked on the right side of the driveway, since the left side was still buried in snow.

“So where are you coming from?” Lucifer asked with excitement.

You’d be surprised to discover, Modern Philosophers, that The Prince of Darkness is a huge fan of time travel.

“I was just at The First Thanksgiving,” Doc boasted as Seamus tossed him a Snapple.

pilgrims-facts“Did ya grab something to eat?” Seamus asked.  “Me belly would’ve wanted to see if the Pilgrims were good cooks.”

“You know better than that, Seamus,” Doc scolded Maine’s only Leprechaun.  “If I’d taken anything, I would have been messing with the space/time continuum.”

Satan and I shook our heads at Seamus, who has never seemed to be able to grasp the rules of Time Travel Etiquette.

“You said you had some interesting news?” I asked as I was quite curious to find out what Doc wanted to tell me.

“I knew you’d be watching the football game, so that’s why I came by now,” Doc explained as he paced in front of the TV with the manic energy for which he was known. “Did you know they played football at the First Thanksgiving?”

Lucifer, Seamus, and I were dumbfounded.  “How could that possibly be, Doc?” the fallen angel in the trio asked.  “Football wasn’t invented yet.  Does that mean another time traveler went back and screwed with the space/time continuum?”

All eyes turned to Seamus as if the oft drunk Leprechaun who rarely knew what day it was might have somehow mastered Time Travel in his free time.

“No, my friend,” Doc answered.  “They were playing the other form of football.”

soccerLucifer, Seamus, and I made disgusted faces.  “Soccer?” I blurted out like it was a curse I didn’t want in my mouth.

“I couldn’t believe it, either,” Doc confirmed with a disappointed shake of the head.  “It kind of takes a little something away from the big day, doesn’t it?”

We took a moment to ponder Doc’s news.

Then the Lions scored a touchdown, and we were snapped back to reality.  Football, real football, was on TV at The House on the Hill.

There would be no more talk of soccer.  Not in my house.  Not on this All-American holiday…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Time Traveler Confirms That Football Was Played At The First Thanksgiving

  1. List of X says:

    I don’t know why you are so surprised, Austin. After all, the Pilgrims just came from Britain where soccer is the #1 game.

    • Austin says:

      I know, but they seemed far too reserved to be playing that game. Wouldn’t their funny hats fall off as they ran up and down the pitch over the course of their scoreless tie?

      • List of X says:

        I think Brits still seem more reserved than Americans in general – that is, until you visit a soccer stadium during an English Premier league match, which could make an average MLB or NFL game seem quaint in comparison.

      • Austin says:

        I have heard they get a little rowdy. Probably helps to keep them awake during 90 minutes of a scoreless tie.

  2. hattyab77 says:

    Reblogged this on News of social welfare.

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