I Advise You That Nice Guys Finish First With Santa

BlutoDear Modern Philosopher,

As Christmas approaches, I’m giving some serious thought to switching sides next year and earning myself a spot on the Naughty List.

I’ve always been a nice guy, and I’ve found that the whole “Nice guys finish last” idea to be very true.  I’m so sick of losing out on things, especially potential relationships, to bad boys.  Women seem to be drawn to bad ass dudes, while a nice guy like me ends up perpetually lonely in the Friend Zone.

It looks like I’m spending another Christmas alone, while all the jerks I know will be celebrating the Holiday with girls from the Naughty List.

Can you see any reason why I should continue to work so hard to stay on the Nice List?

The Nice Guy In Last Place

The ListDear Nice Guy,

Do you really want a girl to fall for you because you’re posing as someone on the Naughty List?  Would that be true love, or would you simply be living a lie?

Sure, it might be fun for a little while, but there’s only so far naughty can take you in a relationship.  Things would get very boring very quickly.

Don’t give in to the siren call of the Dark Side.  You’re not that guy.

I advise you that nice guys finish first with Santa.  It might seem like they finish last in everything else, but that’s simply not true.

Love takes time.  All those naughty listers who will be shacking up this Christmas?  That’s not going to last.  Those couplings are going to end very badly.  You don’t need that kind of stress in your life.

Keep being a nice guy and a nice girl will come along.  Santa Claus might not leave her under the tree for you, but you just might end up face to face with her under some mistletoe at a Christmas party.  One never knows with love.

Don’t give up.  Us nice guys need to keep the faith!

Happy Holidays!


About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Holidays, Humor, Love, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to I Advise You That Nice Guys Finish First With Santa

  1. NotAPunkRocker says:

    Perpetually friend-zoned. Story of my life.

    I guess this advice applies to mostly nice girls too?

  2. Louise says:

    are you really?/ or you just think that because you are a writer and deep thinker.. take it from me friend.. nice guys and girls do end up lonely at this time of year…. Just hell i do not know i have just been dumped from a semi ‘friends with benefits’ thing. so what would i know. i try, like you but gets me no where. at least i got your funny blogs…:(

  3. B-School Bob says:

    I’m a nice guy and have had success with girls. Nice girls like nice guys. Confidence is the key. Good luck!

  4. List of X says:

    I’ve met some self-identified Nice Guys (who were kind of nice, but really kind of jerks in other things), complaining that they can’t meet girls because they’re too nice. And I seriously doubt that there are many nice guys without even a shade of jerk in them – just a as the opposite is true. Maybe the key is to accept and recognize our inner jerk and know when to be one, know when not to be one, and the hardest of all, knowing which one you’re being and being perceived as at the moment.
    (As in, I am aware that this comment could be perceived as being jerky:)

  5. barbtaub says:

    I’ve spent 35+ years with the nicest guy in the world. And I wouldn’t say that’s finishing last…

  6. markbialczak says:

    Great advice to the letter writer, Austin. Nice guys need to stick up for each other, and nice girls do notice. I’m married to the nicest woman in the world. 🙂

  7. I have to wonder when I hear from a guy who “just can’t find a girl.” I spent many years chasing after nice guys and jerks, as the spirit moved me. Most of them were having none of me. So I have to ask you, have you relegated some wonderful woman to this friend zone when in fact you could have a very nice romance with her? Um, I’m not applying for the position; I married a very nice man some years ago (and I’m sure I’m not your type anyways).

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