Do you like my rewrite of of “Winter Wonderland”, Modern Philosophers?
I haven’t written a running post in some time, and that’s because I’m always a very lazy boy during the colder months. I did meet with the Health Coach at work this week, though, and aside from my BMI, all my numbers are very good and I qualified for a huge discount on my Health Insurance.
I promised the Health Coach that I’d write a fitness post this week to show that my mind is still on getting healthy, even though my legs and lungs want nothing to do with running right now and are on the fitness Naughty List.
I did a survey of Fitness Experts in the area (and when I say I did a survey, what I really mean is that I had the interns work the phones!), and they overwhelmingly agreed that, despite what the Christmas Carol says, running on a treadmill is much better than walking in a Winter Wonderland.
“Without a doubt, Austin, you’d get a much better workout on the treadmill,” Kandie assured me in a very enthusiastic voice. “You burn a ton more calories, you can better challenge yourself by adjusting the speed and incline, and you’re not likely to fall and break any bones.”
Clearly, Kandie has never seen this klutzy Modern Philosopher fall off a treadmill.
“I get Santa Claus in here every day for 45 minutes on the treadmill and then 30 minutes on the bike,” she continued and wiped some sweat from her pretty face, which was when I finally noticed that she was running on a treadmill while doing the interview. “I take being Santa’s personal trainer very seriously. I don’t think the kids of the world would appreciate it if Christmas had to be canceled because Santa slipped on the ice and shattered his hip while out for a walk on Santa Claus Lane.”
Kandie did have a point. As much as I hate running on a treadmill, I hardly ever put on my Running Toga and get any miles in when Winter Wonderland conditions exist.
“Just think about the science of it all,” she continued, showing she also had a well toned brain. “If you run on a treadmill in a heated gym, your body is going to generate a large amount of sweat, and you are going to burn more calories. When you walk outside in subfreezing temperatures, you’re not going to sweat, your body isn’t generating enough heat to keep warm let alone to burn calories, and you just can’t stay outside as long.”
She did concede that one good way to burn calories in the Winter Wonderland option, was by struggling to get in and out of all the Winter clothing one must wear to survive the frigid Winter conditions.
Kandie invited me to join her at The North Pole to discuss this further, and she even offered to throw in free personal training sessions since I’m a friend of Santa.
I plan to take her up on the offer. You know, because I really need to get back into shape and further research this topic. Not at all because Kandie looks like someone who stepped out of a fever dream about what makes Christmas so amazing…
Have a Happy and Healthy Holidays, Modern Philosophers!