Flying Monkeys To Escort Santa’s Sleigh Due to Growing Security Concerns

Here’s another Classic Christmas post from the Archives. Hope you enjoy it. Happy Holidays!

The Return of the Modern Philosopher

Flying MonkeysGeneral Phineas “Woody” Appleton, Commander in Chief of the North Pole Security Agency, announced today that because of growing security concerns, Santa’s sleigh will be escorted around the world by a battalion of Flying Monkeys this Christmas.

Gen. Appleton, the long time leader of the Wooden Soldiers, would not reveal the nature of the security concerns, but did confirm that this is the first year that Santa Claus and the Reindeer would have company on their journey.

“That’s not entirely true,” Woody (he insisted on being called that) later corrected himself to this Modern Philosopher.  “We’ve never revealed this, but three heavily armed and well-trained Elves travel with Santa every Christmas.  They’re like his personal Secret Service detail, only much deadlier.”

The Flying Monkeys are expected to arrive from Oz tomorrow, but this won’t be their first visit to the North Pole.  “The Monkeys have trained with the Reindeer in…

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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