Throwing It Back To My Days As The Mini Godfather

For this Throw Back Thursday, Modern Philosophers, I thought I’d fire up the Time Machine so we could Time Travel back to Brooklyn and my days as The Mini Godfather.

godfatherPeople always ask me why I moved to Maine, and I never give them a straight answer.

Sometimes, I’ll say it was because I ran out of gas on my way to Canada.

Other times, I’ll tell people I moved to Maine because I wanted to get as far away from California as possible without actually leaving the continental United States.

When I’m feeling really silly, I’ll just reply, “This is Maine?  Are you sure?”

In the spirit of the Christmas Season I am in a giving mood, and it’s time to finally give a truthful answer to the moving to Maine question.

I moved here, Modern Philosophers, as part of The Witness Protection Program.

As you can see from the above photo, taken when I was about 7, I was the youngest Godfather of any crime family in New York’s history.

Someone once made the mistake of referring to me as “The Diapered Don”.  I had him whacked.  They never found the body, but if they did, they would’ve discovered the corpse dressed in only a diaper.

I’m not proud of what I did back in those day in Brooklyn, but a Catholic School education was expensive, and I needed a way to pay the tuition.  I always had a mind for numbers, I looked sharp in a suit, and I commanded respect for some reason.

So the Mini Godfather rose to power.

Eventually, however, the novelty of it wore off, and running the business interfered with my studies.  So I staged my death.  Once the dust settled, I emerged from hiding with a new name and a pair of glasses to hide my identity (if he worked for Superman, it would work for the Mini Godfather).

Of course, my past eventually caught up with me, some attempts were made on my life (I guess the glasses weren’t the best disguise!), and the Feds eventually made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.

And, that, Modern Philosophers, is how I really ended up in Maine.

Now don’t tell anyone, unless you wanna get whacked…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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22 Responses to Throwing It Back To My Days As The Mini Godfather

  1. Louise says:

    oh god how cute are yo in that tux…:)

  2. JED says:

    Seems your past, your studies and your adventures in Maine have made you the well rounded philosopher you are today. I’m guessing that whacked one would be proud to know what he helped create.

  3. JED says:

    Hmm, that’s an idea. We may need to talk later.

  4. You can’t fool me. I know you really were in the “Lobstah Protection Program.” Saving the biggest, tastiest “lobstahs” for yourself.

  5. alanjryland says:

    This is so adorable.

  6. ksbeth says:

    so stinkin’ cute!

  7. markbialczak says:

    You get the best use from your thin family photo album than anybody in history Lil’ Boss.

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