I Advise You To Treat January 1 Like Any Other Day

BlutoDear Modern Philosopher,

New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day are right around the corner, and I am nowhere close to being finished with my list of New Year’s Resolutions.

I’m on my fifth draft of the list, and I keep adding things to it instead of trimming it down.  I’m never going to get this finalized by the time the ball drops.

What do I do?  How do I decide what makes the list?  Do I put the things I really wish I could accomplish in 2015?  Or is it better to go with a list of things I know I can do?  Maybe a mix of both?

I’m so confused.  Please help me to focus my Deep Thoughts so I can get this done and focus on planning my New Year’s Eve party.  Time is running out…

Resolved To Be Done With This List By Tuesday

ball dropDear Resolved,

There’s really no need to get your toga all up in a bunch about a silly list of promises that you know you will have completely ignored by January 31.

Sure, I think it’s cool to create a to do list of goals, but I think that New Year’s Day is a horrible time to begin tackling that list.

The Holidays are a chaotic time.  No one is operating on a normal schedule, there are parties to attend, lots of yummy food and tempting drinks to consume, and an abnormal amount of hope in the air.

I advise you to treat January 1 like any other day.  Don’t put any extra importance on the day simply because you get to hang up a new calendar, or because College Football plays a lot of fancy named games on that day.

Think about it.  All January 1 signifies is that we survived another revolution of the Sun without hurtling out of orbit or being struck by a meteor.

January 1 falls in the dead of Winter for those of us on my side of the world, and Winter is a horrible time to get anything accomplished.  Unless your list of New Year’s Resolutions consists only of “Survive Winter”, then January 1 is not the day for you.

Wait until it’s warmer, the Holidays are long past, and the only Hope in your life is that annoying coworker who always wants to show you pictures of her grandkids.

If you’re like me, there’s at least one resolution on your list about exercise, eating better, or losing weight.  Am I right?  If so, you’re more likely to do those things when the sun is out, the temperatures are warmer, and the roads aren’t covered in snow and ice.

In January, you’re eating more to add layers of fat that both keep you warm and cushion the fall when you slip on the snow and ice.  Going to the gym is an insane idea because who wants to battle the weather just to run on a treadmill for half an hour?  And you can totally forget about running outside.  Sure, you might lost weight doing that, but it will only be because body parts are removed due to frostbite.

So stay warm and safe during the Winter, and take these next few months to work on your list of goals for the year.  Then tackle those goals around April 1.

Good luck.  Keep me posted on your progress!


About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to I Advise You To Treat January 1 Like Any Other Day

  1. April says:

    Lol nope on the wight loss that would be nice but let’s be real! My resolution is to stop making simple complicated 😉

  2. markbialczak says:

    I agree with your advice, Austin. A mountain is not a good motivator right now.

  3. I don’t think the resolutions have to be started straight away if they’re long term goals. Surviving the winter is a good one though. I hate winter! Achievable, life enhancing goals! Happy New Year/New Rotation. 🙂

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