I Advise You Not To Worry About The Snowmen

BlutoDear Modern Philosopher,

Happy New Year!  I am a fellow Mainer, and I am very concerned about the absence of Snowmen in our state this Winter.  Here it is January already, and I have yet to see a Snowman.

I’ve done the research, and Snowman Migration Patterns indicate that several large herds should have arrived at the beginning of December.

What has happened to the Snowmen?  Why has Maine’s Snowman population been decimated?  Is there something going on that the government isn’t telling us?  Did Governor LePage have the Snowmen banished?

I’m freaking out here.  Please help!

Freaking Out About Frosty

snowmanDear Freaking Out,

Happy New Year to you as well!

While I concur with your assessment of the status of Maine’s Snowman population, I really don’t think you need to worry.

It’s only January 4, which means there is still plenty of Winter left in Maine.  In fact, I just came in from shoveling 4 or 5 inches of the white stuff out of the driveway of The House on the Hill.

I advise you not to worry about the Snowmen.  Sure, their migration to Maine has been slower than usual this year, but they probably just stopped to spend more time in the Midwest where there’s been much more snow.

In fact, I’ve heard reports of Snowmen popping up in California and Arizona earlier this week.  That’s something that never happens, so it seems like the Snowmen are a bit more nomadic or adventurous this year.

Be patient.  They will be here soon enough.

In the meantime, you should take advantage of today’s snow to build a Snowman.  Maybe your Snowman will then get out the word to the other Snowmen that Maine is anxiously awaiting their arrival.

Trust me, though.  Snowmen love Winter in Maine and this is their ultimate destination.  Good things come to those who wait…


About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to I Advise You Not To Worry About The Snowmen

  1. hilarious..i mean’ and Snowman Migration Patterns ‘ but still hitting a very good point..good job done..austin.

  2. …and wait. And wait. 😀 😀 😀

  3. LucyJartz says:

    This is great! 😀

  4. NotAPunkRocker says:

    I imagine that the snowmen have gone to where the snow women are. 🙂

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