Showerless Sunday Will Have To Wait

Austin iceI was planning on today being a Showerless Sunday, Modern Philosophers, as I was keen on hanging out at The House on the Hill, doing a little writing, and watching the big football games.

However, when the mercury climbed to 40 degrees (Can you scream HEAT WAVE?!?!?!), I had to go outside to remember what it was like to experience temperatures that high.

As you can see from this first picture, the main difference I noticed was that I could safely wear my Cyclones cap again.

The real reason I went outside was to clear the ice off of the roof above the bathroom.  I knew the warmer weather meant that the ice and snow on the roofs was going to melt, and last year, this led to a major leak in the bathroom.

The cause of that leak was an ice dam at the bottom of the roof that prevented the damn water from flowing off the damn roof, so it flowed into my damn bathroom through the damn ceiling instead!

I am one to learn from my mistakes (except for when it comes to affairs of the heart…I’m completely hopeless there!), so I grabbed my tools and got to work.

My long arms could only reach so far, which meant that hacking at the ice dam with the ice chipper worked on about half the roof.

side roofSo I got the rickety ladder out of the garage, climbed as high as I dared, and attacked the ice from a higher position.

On the left, is a view of one of the side roofs that I cleared.  This is the easier of the two, and the one that did not lead to any cursing and vows to flee Maine immediately.

After I fell off the ladder (don’t worry, I landed gracefully on my feet in a big pile of snow!), I decided it was time for the big gun.  The ladder was returned to the garage, and I got out the roof rake.

Now a roof rake is perfect for clearing snow off the roof, but it takes some finesse to use it to clear thick ice off the roof.

By “finesse” I mean that I just slammed the roof rake repeatedly against the ice until it either broke up and slid off the roof, or my arms got too tired to continue.

After about twenty minutes of this, I’d cleared all the ice I could get.  I’d also completed the best upper arms and shoulders workout available on the market today!

roof rakeI quickly cleared the front roof and the other side roof and then hurled the snow rake across the driveway.

Not a bad throw from the side of the house, especially when you consider how tired my arms were at this point.  Don’t you agree, Modern Philosophers?

Since I was getting in such a great workout and it was clear that Showerless Sunday was now nothing more than a pipe dream, I decided it was time to tackle the disgusting sludge that had formed at the end of the driveway.

This mess, Modern Philosophers, was a mix of snow, ice, slush, and the sand the city snow plow spreads on the streets.  I had tried to clear it yesterday when it was 3 degrees, but the ice chipper wasn’t even making a dent.

Today, of course, I was able to show it who was boss.  My neighbor Mark even came over to chat and chipped away at the stuff, while I used the shovel to transport it a little further down the street.

sludgeAfter an hour of my intense Winter Workout, I was dripping sweat and ready for a shower.

Some of you will say that I should’ve just let it all melt away, and simply enjoyed Showerless Sunday.

Clearly, you don’t know me well.  I would’ve been in the bathroom every fifteen minutes checking to see if the roof was leaking again, and would not have been able to enjoy my day.

By working up a sweat, I got in some much needed exercise and gave myself a little peace of mind…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to Showerless Sunday Will Have To Wait

  1. ksbeth says:

    funny how things have a way of working themselves out, boss!

  2. Pamela Edwards says:

    That heat wave inspired the man to tackle much needed chores outside hum ? Well at least after your shower you will appreciate relaxing with the football games even more now that that’s off your mind . Enjoy the afternoon ! BTW i for one am glad the pile of snow was there to catch you . I’d miss your blogs & you . ☺

  3. markbialczak says:

    Congratulations on clearing the damn ice dam so it will not flood onto your damn bathroom ceiling and ruin the whole damn NFL Championship Sunday. Go Seahawks. Go Colts. My rooting interests today, Austin. And you?

  4. Has anybody ever told you that you remind them of Alan Rickman? In this picture you remind me of him. Sorry you had to spend your day chipping ice. I spent mine taking down all of the Christmas decorations. Sometimes I wonder, is it really worth all the effort?

  5. Louise says:

    ha aha new england won….why do you not muse a hose to wash the ice away???

  6. Louise says:

    that would be just use a high pressure hose to wash ice away.. instead of ice pick???

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s