Ferris Bueller I Am Not

FerrisFerris Bueller knew how to spend a day off, Modern Philosophers, while I clearly do not.

Rather than spending my Snow Day at a Cubs game, rocking out on a parade float, or impersonating the Sausage King of Chicago, I shoveled the snow out of my driveway.

Three times.

Bueller?  Bueller?

I’m just in from my third time and I am completely exhausted.  My back is aching and every muscle in my body is sore.

It had stopped snowing, so I decided that while Juno was taking a break, I should put in one last shift at the shovel factory.  Plus, I could see that the city snow plow had left a knee deep pile of snow at the foot of my driveway.

Austin Juno pileDanke schoen!

With the photo on the left, I tried to give you an idea of how large the piles of snow had gotten over the course of the day.  The piles being a combined effort of Juno’s wrath and my piling the snow after shoveling.

The snow was almost up to my shoulders, Modern Philosophers, and I’m 6’3″.

Perhaps I was channeling my inner Ferris when I decided to mix it up this time, and start shoveling from the bottom of driveway.

I know, that’s pretty wild, but sometimes a guy has just gotta say “What the #$%^” and just go for it, you know?

This definitely wasn’t how I’d dreamed of spending a Snow Day, but I really had no choice.  Governor LePage declared a State of Emergency, (but he did order that the McDonald’s nearest his residence remain open because blizzards made him crave Big Macs), which meant that no one was supposed to be out on the roads.  Most businesses were closed, and I really had no desire to leave The House on the Hill.

Of course, it would’ve been nice to spend a lazy day writing, building Snowmen, and sipping Snapple while I caught up on what was on the DVR, but I do need to be able to get Zombie Car out of the garage tomorrow so I can go to work.

Juno 3AI bet Ferris would’ve been able to convince the town snow plow guy to clear his driveway for him.  Hell, he probably would’ve charmed his way behind the wheel to do it himself.

I’ve retired the shovel, hat, and gloves for the day, though.  Three times was definitely enough (that’s NOT what she said!) and my body is honestly too sore to use a shovel for anything more than support at this point.

Ironically, the city snow plow just roared down the block, which means he probably left another nice pile in the driveway for me.

That’s going to have to wait until tomorrow, though.

Something good did come out of this exhausting day, though.  And it’s almost as good as a date with Sloane Peterson.

My favorite neighbor, Janine, who was out in the trenches with me for two of my three assaults on Juno, did some baking today.  She is an awesome baker!

Juno 3BJust as I was finishing my third round, she called from her front door, and I found my last ounce of energy to scamper across the street for my reward.

Any day that ends with a beautiful woman giving me homemade treats is an okay day in my book.

Come to thing of it, I don’t remember anyone baking anything for Ferris…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

23 Responses to Ferris Bueller I Am Not

  1. Ritu says:

    Clouds…silver linings anyone?!

  2. adamjasonp says:

    Come to thing of it, are those supposed to be brownies? The camera doesn’t do the treat justice.

  3. Pamela Edwards says:

    Poor Austin , your day off turned into a snow nightmare . The treats look great & you will enjoy them . You probadly need to treat yourself to a massage after all the shoveling ! Hopefully tomorrow will be another snow day . ❄⛄

  4. amommasview says:

    Well there you go 😉

  5. AC says:

    At least you survived. Until the next storm.

  6. Catherine Johnson says:

    Oh that last line is brilliant. What a nice neighbor and what a bummer spending a day off shoveling. Just think of the calories you burned before you ate the baking 😉

  7. I also hate to use a day off working. You’re supposed to be sleeping late, making popcorn, and watching Indiana Jones movies! Well, at least now you can get out of your driveway. Drive carefully!

    • Austin says:

      It was a horrible drive to work, though. The roads were still really crappy, which I did not expect given the city had all day and this morning to clear them…

  8. jan says:

    Three times – oh my gosh. You deserved a treat or two or maybe three! What the heck, make it four!

  9. Pingback: The damage done… | The Dependent Independent

  10. Pingback: #MoP15 Day 30: Concrete Snowflake | Catherine M Johnson

  11. bamauthor says:

    Snowing here right now, we have about a foot on the ground. We were a lot luckier than you this time around! Take it slow……

  12. Ferris could have never driven off in that epic vehicle in your Maine snow. However, I do have two words for you, Austin: Snow Blower. Doesn’t the friendly ACE Hardware Man sell those in your neck of the snowy woods???

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