Post Traumatic Snow Disorder

Austin JunoI spent five years working at a mental hospital, Modern Philosophers, so I feel comfortable diagnosing myself with PTSD…

Post Traumatic Snow Disorder.

I was up at 5:30 this morning, which is about an hour and a half earlier than usual, because I knew Juno had continued to howl overnight.

Even though I was completely exhausted last night, it was difficult to fall asleep because the wind was rattling all the windows, and it sounded like The House on the Hill was going to be blown off its hill.

When I got out of bed this morning and crept to the hallway window, I could see that the driveway was white again, and that there was an enormous pile of snow at the bottom of it from the city snow plow.

It was still dark when I trudged outside, all bundled up, my back sore and muscles aching from all of my previous Juno shoveling.

As I stood out there in frigid temps, staring at the pile of snow that was above my knees, so many angry thoughts ran through my mind.

I was pissed at the snow, at Winter, at Juno, at myself for ever agreeing to move to Maine, at J for leaving me and making snow shoveling a one person job, at The Girl Who Moved Away for not returning my call yesterday and soothing me when I was stressed.  The list goes on and on.

Austin Juno 2A clear case of Post Traumatic Snow Disorder.

It was 7:00 when I finally finished my fourth round of cleaning up after Juno.

I took a long, hot shower, but that didn’t make my body ache any less, or raise my spirits.

After popping a few ibuprofen, I checked my Facebook and saw a post from a friend about another snowstorm expected tomorrow night.

Are you $!@##^&* me?!?!?!?!?!

Just reading that and then confirming it on The Weather Channel site made my PTSD flare up even worse.

I can’t handle another storm.

I’m still exhausted from Juno.

You’re saying I’ve got to get up early Friday and shovel yet again?

And rumor has it that there are two more storms headed this way next week.

Where are we going to put all the snow?

Do we need to start eating it to make room?

If we use the snow to build Snowman, won’t the Snowmen soon outnumber the humans?

With they make us their slaves???

Austin Juno pileI’m so tired and can’t focus my Deep Thoughts, Modern Philosophers.  Hence this ridiculous post.

I’m hoping a good night’s sleep will help with the worst of my Post Traumatic Snow Disorder.

I know it’s better not to dwell on what I can’t control, but it’s hard not to think about it when the bad memories of Juno are still so fresh in my mind.

Is anyone else suffering from Post Traumatic Snow disorder?  Should we start a support group?  Who lives someplace warm and is willing to host these meetings?

I’ll bring some homemade Buffalo Chicken Wing Dip.  It’s really good…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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49 Responses to Post Traumatic Snow Disorder

  1. floridaborne says:

    Sounds like it’s time to watch mindless TV and guzzle a pizza. You won’t like to hear this, but the best thing for sore and overworked muscles is an icepack. 🙂

  2. amommasview says:

    Bunker up and eat all the yummy food you like. I love the idea about the snowmen 😉

  3. Phil Taylor says:

    As a fellow Jets fan, former mental hospital worker, and hater of snow I believe that both you and I have brought our own misery upon us with our choices of team and where we’ve chosen to live. Just like the disappointing snow coming every winter, the Jets futility comes every winter too doesn’t it?

  4. I just wrote a post about being “squirrelly” yesterday, which is what you were/are, too. Sometimes we get stuck on this teeter totter that goes up, down, up, down, and we can’t get off enough to get our sheyt together. It’s even worse when we are battling things we can’t control — like weather. We’re supposed to lay back, watch the snow pile up, and stay home and let someone else shovel. But most times it doesn’t work that way. Have a Snapple and watch some cheesy TV. It will get better.

  5. adamjasonp says:

    “If we use the snow to build Snowman, won’t the Snowmen soon outnumber the humans?”
    LOL.  No, they’ll melt.  Everything would be extinct if it was just snowmen…

  6. AC says:

    You seem exhausted. I feel for you, even though I can’t really understand what you’re going through, given where I live. I hope you survive the white poison, and I’ll keep my fingers and legs crossed for you.

  7. Pamela Edwards says:

    That Snow Miser is really a hateful creature . Still pummeling you all there with snow . I can see why your exhausted & stressed . You almost shoveling nonstop . We should start a kickstarter fund for Austin a snowblower , a really big one . Austin , get some rest & take care of yourself .

  8. 1wanderingtruthseeker says:

    One of your porch guest offered you a warm place to stay.

  9. markbialczak says:

    That is really bad, Austin. Freaking Snowpocalypse. I’m worried about your health and safety, my friend. Snow Miser, you Mo%$@>YR!*^J#er!

  10. lcmitsu says:

    I absolutely suffered from that last year when we were getting storms every couple of days in Pennsylvania

    • Austin says:

      How did you get through it? Do you have any tips for me?

      • lcmitsu says:

        Every morning I got up and wrote out all my anger and frustrations. I am alone and I suffer from chronic pain every day of my life so I wrote MANY MANY MANY ranting pages of anger and disappointment over my situation. While I was shoveling I would ask God where is the husband I’ve been praying for ? Why am I alone to deal with all this? Etc

        Then I would watch old episodes of “The Big Bang Theory” , ” All in the Family” or a funny movie

        My new tactic this year – I went out to shovel the other day with a pulled muscle in my back on top of my chronic pain and I started by saying, “Thank you God that I have a car and a driveway to shovel out. Thank you that i don’t live on a snow emergency route anymore. Thank you for the hot shower I’m going to take when i get done. Thank you for coffee to drink. ” I had a great attitude even though i was in pain. It was much easier

      • Austin says:

        That’s a great attitude!

      • lcmitsu says:

        Thank you. Try it next time and see how it works.

      • Austin says:

        We shall see. God and I have a testy relationship…

      • lcmitsu says:

        He’s ok with that. I told him everyday how angry I was at him because I’ve been single my whole life. All I’ve ever asked for was a loving husband and yet I’m still alone. I’ve come to the conclusion that just may never happen for me. It still hurts but God can handle our attitudes

      • Austin says:

        If that works for you, then that is awesome. 🙂

  11. wccunningham says:

    I feel you. OK, not really. I left NY on Sunday for a business trip and missed all the fun. It was 83 degrees today in Houston. My wife told me it was -8 at our house today but no more snow until Friday. After I get home of course.

  12. It’s funny how you mention the snowmen making us their slaves. I had a horrible dream, the snowmen were alive, on hover boards, had lasers for eyes, chasing me and trying to change us all into snowmen/women. I think your diagnosis is legitimate. Juno did a number on all of us.

  13. rowanaliya says:

    I’m sorry to hear about your snow woes, it sure is nice out here in California. I don’t want to ever go back to a snowy winter, I’ve hit gold.

  14. jan says:

    Time for another batch of brownies! Maybe with a little something extra added. Oh I forgot – you’re in Maine not Colorado ; )

  15. I’m with you, Austin and I’m afraid I’m going to go postal on the snow! Does the fact that I have thoughts of harming snow (not myself) mean I have PTSD? Maybe if we…pee on the snow that will show him! Yea!

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