Joe Biden Proposes Vice Presidents’ Day Holiday

JoeHas Vice President Joe Biden’s latest “big idea” betrayed his lack of faith in his ability to be elected President of the United States in 2016, Modern Philosophers?

On the day after Presidents’ Day, the Vice President met with the White House Press Corps and proposed that it was time to add Vice Presidents’ Day to the calendar.

“The Vice President very rarely gets his moment in the sun unless there’s some sort of horrible tragedy,” Biden informed the press.  “Then again, if such a horrible thing does happen, and I’m praying that it doesn’t, it would mean that the Vice President would become the President, and then he gets his Holiday after all.  I know it’s all confusing, but I promise you that it makes sense right up here where it counts.”

For the record, Biden was tapping his forehead when he made that last comment.

This Modern Philosopher couldn’t have been the only one forming Deep Thoughts on why the Vice President would care about such a Holiday if his ultimate plan was to take over the Oval Office once President Obama’s second term is complete.

“Look, all I’m saying is that not every Vice President gets his moment in the sun,” the VP replied when a reporter asked him why he was suddenly making this proposal.  “I want to use what time I have left in the White House to make my mark, and use my power to push for a Holiday that honors the man behind the men in suits who protect the man.”

I believe Biden was referring to President Obama’s Secret Service detail in the above comment, but one can never be one hundred percent sure about the words that come out of the Vice President’s mouth.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERASpeaking of the Secret Service, a source in the VP’s detail informed me that their code name for Biden is Thumper.  You’ve got to love that, Modern Philosophers.

Since I couldn’t get a straight answer out of the Vice President, I thought I’d ask the President what he thought of the idea.

“I love it, Austin,” President Obama said with a smile as we sipped Snapples in the Oval Office.  “Joe is an idea man.  That’s why I love having him around.  All that energy and the way ideas just shoot out of his mouth really comes in handy when morale is low at the White House.”

“Like, let’s say I’m having a rough afternoon and the day is dragging,” the President continued, “I’ll just pick up the phone, dial his extension, and ask Joe for some ideas for a snack to perk me up.  He’ll rattle off a dozen yummy ideas in ten seconds.  Or if I’m planning a family night, I’ll ask Joe for an idea about what movie to watch with the girls.  He will shout out a list faster than the Moviephone guy hyped up on double espressos.”

“I’m sure Joe was just bored having the day off yesterday, and kept his mind busy by coming up with ideas for new Holidays,” President Obama assured me as he offered me a second Snapple from the mini fridge next to his desk.  “I know his enthusiasm about Vice Presidents’ Day has nothing to do with any doubts about his chances to sit behind this desk in 2016.”

Joe Biden Campaigns In South FloridaJoe Biden sounds like the Don Draper of the White House, spitting out winning ideas with absolutely zero effort.

If Joe Biden thinks a Vice Presidents’ Day Holiday is a good idea, then I don’t care what the reason is behind his wanting to add it to the calendar.

If Thumper is stumping for it, then I’m jumping at the chance to support it!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Joe Biden Proposes Vice Presidents’ Day Holiday

  1. Matt Walker says:

    I Liked this just because the headline made me laugh.

  2. Matt Walker says:

    “Joe Biden sounds like the Don Draper of the White House, spitting out winning ideas with absolutely zero effort.”

    That’s the winning line! hahay

  3. That’s one scary lookin’ dude…

  4. ksbeth says:

    i’m always up for any holiday. count me in –

  5. Matt Walker says:

    Reblogged this on The Habanero of Texas and commented:
    Here’s a great read from our friend in Satire, Austin, over at “The Return of the Modern Philosopher”. Give him a follow and enjoy reading about Uncle Joe’s Idea.

  6. markbialczak says:

    I’m all for Joe Biden’s idea, Austin. He got his law degree from Syracuse University, and his wife, Neillia, is from nearby Skaneateles. Yay, VP Day!

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