Best Supporting Rejects

Nite Show DannyHappy Academy Awards Sunday, Modern Philosophers!

A new episode of The Nite Show With Danny Cashman aired last night, so now I can share some of my jokes that didn’t make it into Danny’s monologue.

As you can see from the photo on the left, Danny made a grand entrance, decked out in his outfit for tonight’s Oscars.  I’m sure he will be the talk of the red carpet.

And now, the nominees for Best Rejects in a Supporting Role are…

The Academy Awards are tomorrow night, hosted by Neil Patrick Harris.  I wonder how Doogie’s parents feel about his throwing away a promising medical career to be an awards show host…

It’s great to be back at The Gracie Theatre on the campus of Husson University.  Gotta say, though, that taking a lengthy hiatus in the middle of the winter gave me an excellent idea of what it’s like to be a member of Congress…

While we were gone, the New England Patriots won the Super Bowl.  I bet the only deflated balls after that game were in the Seattle locker room…

Winter Storm Neptune never really ended up materializing last weekend.  If you think about it, it was the perfect storm for Valentine’s Day.  There was a lot of buildup and excitement, but in the end, it was over way quicker than expected and ended up being much smaller than promised…

Nite Show BangtownChinese New Year was on Thursday.  Because of the horrible Winter we’ve had so far, they’ve decided to call this the Year of the Polar Bear…

The Series Finale of Two and a Half Men aired on Thursday, and the American TV viewing audience has one word to say about that: “Winning!”

Brian Williams has been suspended for 6 months by NBC by lying about an incident that took place in Iraq in 2003.  Apparently, it took 12 years for the suspension to be announced because the investigation was headed by NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell…

Did you hear about the measles outbreak at Disneyland?  I always thought that if there was going to be a widespread outbreak at the home of Mickey Mouse, it definitely would’ve been rabies…

50 Shades of Grey premiered in theaters last weekend, and janitorial staffs are reporting that the rugs in theaters showing the film are now 50 shades of utterly disgusting…

Saturday Night Live celebrated 40 years on the air last weekend with a star studded special on Sunday night.  Because nothing screams “Saturday Night Live” more than a program that airs on Sunday night…

Nite Show betweenSchool vacation was this past week, and students return to classes on Monday.  After all the snow days they’ve already had this Winter, I’m just wondering exactly what the kids were vacationing from…

So which one of the Rejects gets the Oscar, Modern Philosophers?  Did any of them make you laugh?

The Nite Show airs on Saturday nights in Maine.  You can support the show by liking its page on Facebook, checking out its You Tube page, or following it on Twitter @TheNiteShowME.

If you really liked any of the Rejects, send Danny a tweet about it!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to Best Supporting Rejects

  1. barbtaub says:

    Okay, that was just mean about Seattle. But I TOTALLY forgive you because I’m still belly-laughing over this: “Winter Storm Neptune never really ended up materializing last weekend. If you think about it, it was the perfect storm for Valentine’s Day. There was a lot of buildup and excitement, but in the end, it was over way quicker than expected and ended up being much smaller than promised…”

  2. floridaborne says:

    I like the deflated balls in the locker room joke. And the Year o the Polar Balls…uh, I mean Polar Bear. And M. Mouse with rabies? LOL!

  3. aladywrites4u says:

    The fifty shades joke made me giggle, I don’t often laugh out loud at jokes.

  4. jan says:

    Year of the Polar Bear! Too funny – out here in California it’s the Year of the Sunburnt Seals!

  5. markbialczak says:

    Rodents and rabies down at Disney is a good yucker for me, Austin. C’mon, Danny, Mickey and Walt aren’t that sacred, are they?

  6. Neptune was really, really good, even if it did come up short. 🙂

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