My Top 5 Uses For Snow

Austin JunoIt snowed again today, Modern Philosophers.

That’s old news by now, but a tragic event this morning did trigger my Post Traumatic Snow Disorder.  There was a 40 car pile up on the I 95 during the morning commute.  The pictures of the crash were horrifying, but miraculously, no one was killed.

The I 95 is the main road through the state, and the accident occurred a little south of Bangor.  I do not take that route to work, but many of my coworkers do.   Some of them missed the catastrophe by mere minutes.

On a more positive note, when I returned to The House on the Hill after an extremely cautious drive home, I discovered that Mark had cleared my driveway with the snow blower and had left the garage door open for me.

So I had a stress free ascent up the driveway, and Zombie Care is now tucked away safe and sound in the garage.

Whenever my Post Traumatic Snow Disorder flares up, Dr. Jekyll advises me to focus on the positives.  So, I’m thinking about Mark’s act of kindness and I’m forcing myself to write a My Top 5 post about positive uses for snow…

snowman1. Building a Snowman Who doesn’t love a Snowman?  They are cool, fun to build, and the ones that talk are always extremely entertaining.  Sure, I sometimes fear that Maine’s Snowman Army will turn on us and enslave us, but I think that is just a side effect of some of my more experimental Post Traumatic Snow Disorder medications.

snowball fight2. Snowball Fights!  Snowball fights are great exercise and an excellent way to blow off some steam after being cooped up inside because of all the snow.  If you make sure not to aim for the face, no one is going to get hurt, you can strengthen your arm for baseball season, and if you plan it right, it’s a great way to remove snow from your property.

football3. Tackle Football  Tackle football in the snow was a staple of the Brooklyn Winters of my youth.  We always played two hand touch in the street, but when it snowed, we could take it to the next level.  This was one time that you actually wanted to be tackled and didn’t mind a face full of snow.

Of course, I must admit that tackle snow football can be very dangerous.  When I was at NYU, such a game in Washington Square Park resulted in a friend having her leg broken.

I’m pretty sure that was the last time I ever played tackle football in the snow.

KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA4. Snow Angels  The Hopeless Romantic is going to write this one.  When I first started dating The Girl Who Moved Away, I would always start up and shovel out both our cars at the end of a snowy work day.  One of the first times I did this, she accompanied me and insisted that I join her in making snow angels in the middle of the parking lot.

Little things like that made me fall in love with her, and I’ll forever associate snow angels with The Girl Who Is Far Away.

Snow Miser5. It’s the perfect place to hide a body  If you’re like me, Modern Philosophers, and you pass your cold, lonely, snowy Winter nights plotting the grisly murder of the being directly responsible for your Post Traumatic Snow Disorder, then you’ve probably already considered the poetic justice associated that burying the body under all that snow.

No one is going to find it for months, and when they finally do, the snow and ice will have washed away any trace DNA evidence.

And ironically, investigators might right it off as a suicide, or say that the cause of death was accidental as the individual was caught out in the elements and buried alive under all those mountains of snow.

If there weren’t some illegal elements to this entry, it would be #1 on my list.

Honorable Mention:  Igloos, Tunnel World, Roof Diving

What did you think of My Top 5, Modern Philosophers?  Did I miss anything?  Was there something on my list that wouldn’t be on yours?  Do you want to talk more about #5?

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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25 Responses to My Top 5 Uses For Snow

  1. Pamela Edwards says:

    Excellent Top Five Austin . A couple things to mention , when you fell off your ladder the snow broke your fall & if you had fell out of your window while snapping pics for your blog there was enough snow you said to keep you from being seriously injured .

  2. Nothing better for anxiety and stress than having a snow ball fight 🙂 I saw the pileup on the online news – SCARY!!! Stay Warm and Be Safe.

  3. jan says:

    I just heard about the accident – wow. I like snow-shoeing and sledding.

  4. aladywrites4u says:

    Snow and Ice will preserve the DNA but then who would come looking for him? Glad no one got hurt in that wreck.

  5. D. Parker says:

    That got a little dark there toward the end, Austin, but it has been a looooong winter. Stay warm and safe. 🙂

  6. ksbeth says:

    glad everyone was okay, and i like snow forts –

  7. Catherine Johnson says:

    Wow that’s a big pile up! Miracle no one was killed. Watch out for lumps in the snow then. I saw a huge snow unicorn this morning. That was pretty cool.

  8. shawn says:

    An #AWEsome list. I would add making snow ice cream. I used to do this as a boy and have done it with my own kids. I’m looking forward to introducing my grandkids to it whenever they arrive.

  9. dorne whale says:

    I’m really quite envious. I would love some snow to play in! 🙂

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