How To Beat Cabin Fever And Influence People

We all know the old and very wise saying, Modern Philosophers: “Feed a cold, and starve a cabin fever.”

That’s too simplistic for us, though, the toga wearers and generators of Deep Thoughts.

The best way to beat cabin fever is with a baseball bat, preferably an aluminum one since the wooden ones break too easily if your rage levels get too high.

Clearly, I’m joking.  And that, my bewildered friends, is the first step in getting the upper hand in the battle against this malady.  Humor.  They say laughter is the best medicine, and since it’s covered under most insurance plans, I prescribe it as often as possible.

Laugh like a maniac, and they’ll give you the good medications.  When you’re on those, the cabin fever won’t even touch you.

Hire a Morale Officer.  If there’s someone on the payroll whose sole responsibility is to keep your spirits high, then you’ll be having too much fun to realize that the walls are closing in, the pipes are frozen, and the furnace has run out of oil.

Once I realized that Seamus, Maine’s lone Leprechaun, had no business being this blog’s Sports reporter, I made him the Morale Officer.

That tiny, redheaded madman has not let me down, Modern Philosophers.  Sure, I don’t understand what he’s saying half the time, but he sure knows how to party.

Cabin fever cannot set in at The House on the Hill because the party never stops.

Watch movies and TV shows set in warm places.  The heat from the sunny locales will raise the temperature in your home, melt the ice forming around your brain, and remind you that there is something to live for if you can beat the fever.

Spring and Summer are out there.  You’ve just got to hang on for another month!

Keep the Miami Vice theme playing on an endless loop in your head.  That will stimulate the parts of your brain that send out pastel vibes to your body.  If your body thinks it is clothed in such summery colors, rather than buried under layers of flannel, it has a better chance of fighting off the madness.

Put out a hit on Snow Miser.  Sure, this is borderline illegal, but what jury of your peers is ever going to convict you of hiring someone to murder the being responsible for your tumble down the rabbit hole?

Snow Miser is the one who tampered with the settings of your internal thermostat, so if you eliminate him, you cure the cabin fever.

Dance.  Dance in the dark like Bruce Springsteen once suggested, dance alone if you can’t find a partner, but just dance the night away.  The cabin fever can’t catch up with you if you are constantly on the move.  Preferably to a rocking beat.  The slow stuff might not work well here because it leaves you open to a sneak attack.

Write.  Write.  Write.  Use your blog as the crutch that it was meant to be.  The Winter Madness cannot take hold if the Deep Thoughts are always bubbling inside your brain.

Laughter might be the best medicine, but Writing is the greatest therapy, Modern Philosophers.

If I didn’t have writing as an outlet, I would’ve traded in my toga for a straitjacket weeks ago.

If you only follow one piece of advice from this post, which is sure to earn a spot in psychiatric journals worldwide, let it be the one about writing.

When you feel the cabin walls closing in, grab a Sharpie, and write on them.  Anything that comes out of your head.  Just put it all down on the wall.  I always do my best writing when it’s without an outline.  That’s when my creativity runs free and my characters really speak to me.

Your words will become a charm that halts the walls in their tracks.

Trust me on this.

I’m a Writer.