How To Eat Girl Scout Cookies (Gargoyle Not Included)

cookiesI’ve given it a lot of Deep Thought, Modern Philosophers, and I’ve determined that the best way to eat Girl Scout Cookies is up on the roof, with your Gargoyle, as you unwind from another day in the trenches.

I know not all of you have been blessed with a loyal Gargoyle as I have, but I’ve been telling you for two years now that you really need to go out and get one.

Why haven’t you followed up on that suggestion?  I’m hurt.  Seriously.

Thankfully, I have the above pictured boxes of Girl Scout Cookies to assist me in covering up the pain.

Yes, Modern Philosophers, it was cookie delivery day in the office.  Well, I got the first of two deliveries, as the second Girl Scout mommy is out on maternity leave.

Hopefully, she still brings me my cookies.

House on the HillAfter another trying day chained to my desk, I rushed home to The House on the Hill, eager to see if the theory stated in the opening paragraph was correct.

You know it was.

There is something to be said for sitting up on the roof and enjoying a treat under the ever vigilant eye of my Gargoyle bodyguard .

“You’re devouring those cookies like the answers to life’s eternal mysteries are buried at the bottom of the box,” Gary observed from his perch at the edge of the roof.

“How do we know for certain that they’re not until I reach the bottom?” I countered and then crammed another cookie into my mouth.

As I wiped crumbs off of my toga, I stared up at the clear evening sky.

“One of the things I most hated about living in Southern California was that I could never see the stars,” I shared with Gary since I couldn’t share my cookie stash with him.  “The damn smog made them impossible to see.”

“How ironic, seeing that Southern California is the home of stars of stage and screen,” Gary replied with a snicker.

Gargoyles have a very dry sense of humor, and I’m sure it’s one of the reasons Gary and I bonded so quickly.  That, and because he chose to make watching over me and The House on the Hill his mission in life.

“Life slows down when you take the time to watch him from up on the roof,” I spouted out yet another Deep Thought and rewarded myself with a cookie.  One of the peanut butter ones this time.

Gargoille“Too bad your metabolism doesn’t speed up at the same time,” Gary quipped as he spread his wings because watching me just sit there and eat cookie after cookie made him want to exercise.

“The world would be much easier to navigate if everyone just got me the way you did, Gary.”

And I meant that.  Part of what I hated the most about being alone was that there wasn’t that constant back and forth.

My comedy routine works much better with an audience, especially one made up of a single, witty, smart ass who could give it back to me as quickly as I dished it out.

There was no witty banter to fill my days, so instead, I filled my belly with Girl Scout Cookies.  Up on the roof.  With my loyal Gargoyle keeping an eye on me.

Try it sometime, Modern Philosophers.  You’ll thank me for sure…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

40 Responses to How To Eat Girl Scout Cookies (Gargoyle Not Included)

  1. nikeyo says:

    There is nothing like the rush of sweet sugar in the form of girl scout cookies to get the philosophical mind rolling. 😉 The crash thereafter, and the “oh man, I shouldn’t have eaten that many” is not at all as enjoyable though.

  2. This makes me want Girl Scout cookies…

  3. Reblogged this on galesmind and commented:
    I have two gargoyles but no cookies. Sigh

  4. floridaborne says:

    I used to sell girl scout cookies when they tasted better. However, I still have trouble passing up the thin mints. 🙂

  5. D. Parker says:

    Always reminds me of the Wednesday Addams line, Are they made with real Girl Scouts? 😉
    I don’t know when the last time I had Girl Guides cookies, in Canada we have Boy Scouts and Girl Guides…and never with a gargoyle, totally jealous right now. 🙂

  6. D. Parker says:

    I know you would. 🙂

  7. JED says:

    I’ll take a few boxes of those Peanut Butter Patties. With or without the Gargoyle those are pretty good. So you don’t think Gary got upset you didn’t share did he?

  8. grannyK says:

    I’ve ordered mine but haven’t received them yet!

  9. hollie says:

    The best way to eat Girl Scout cookies is straight from the freezer and in multiples of 3!

  10. adamjasonp says:

    I could supply the back & forth, but you tend to just tend to let everything I say go to the wind. …Okay, so I don’t have the experience to do full-on witty. But banter, nonetheless.

  11. You do know that they put something in the Girl Scout cookies to make them addictive? I’m surprised Gary your Gargoyle didn’t tell you. I figured this out years ago, after I finished a box of Thin Mints in 15 minutes (and I’m a one-cookie-a-day kinda of woman). Just letting you know.
    I really really like Gary. We all need a gargoyle in our life.

    • Austin says:

      I have noticed that the cookies and the amount in the box has gotten smaller, but didn’t know they were addictive.

      Gary thanks you for the compliment. He likes you, too. 🙂

  12. At least you are out of the basement and on the roof eating cookies 🙂 Happy Weekend – Enjoy!

  13. jan says:

    I’ve can remember the days of having a freezer stuffed with unsold Thin Mints! Don’t ask me why I froze them – I don’t remember!

  14. E.L. Wicker says:

    I need to get a Gargoyle!

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