Adopt A Reject (The Nite Show Edition)

Happy Sunday, Modern Philosophers!

Hope you remembered to set your clocks ahead, or else you will be one hour behind and nothing in this post will make any sense (do they ever really make sense, though???)

A new episode of The Nite Show With Danny Cashman aired last night, which means I can share some of my jokes that didn’t make it onto the air.

The blog has a ton of new followers because of the Blog Pitch Party I’m throwing this weekend, so let me take a second to explain about the Sunday Rejects.  I am a writer for The Nite Show, a late night talk show that airs in Maine.  I turn in an abundance of monologue jokes for every taping, and on Sundays, I like to share some of the ones that don’t make it onto TV.

The Rejects deserve a moment in the spotlight, and this is their opportunity to get a few laughs.  Plus, it makes me feel like all my hard work didn’t go to waste.

Here are this week’s Rejects.  Won’t you adopt one and give it a loving home?

Earlier this month, there was a fire at the Family Dollar store in Bangor.  Authorities are still investigating the cause of the blaze, but they have determined that the total cost of the damage from the fire was one dollar…

As you can probably imagine, winter can be a very challenging time for the Maine Tourism Board, but I’m really impressed with the campaign they’ve been using this year: “Come to Maine this winter for the total Stephen King’s The Shining Experience!”

I’m not sure how I feel about this tagline for that tourism slogan, though: “Christian Grey might have his Red Room, but Maine has its Redrum! Redrum! Redrum!!!”

It’s still cold out there, but Spring Training is in full swing.  Even the local colleges are back on the field.  In fact, the Husson Eagles have asked me to throw out the first snowball at their game tomorrow…

This is the weekend we spring ahead one hour.  However, since it’s been such a horrible winter, I’m giving you all permission to spring ahead an entire week…

Cinderella hits theaters next weekend.  I recommend you skip the midnight showing…

A dog in Iowa named Sissy ran away from home and turned up two miles away at a hospital where his owner was recovering from surgery.  When asked why he did it, the dog told reporters: “My name is Sissy.  It’s in my nature to run away!”

So what did you think of my Rejects, Modern Philosophers?  Did any of them make you laugh?  Would you like to adopt one and give it all the love it deserves?

Want to show your support for The Nite Show? Like its page on Facebook, check out videos on its You Tube page, and follow it on Twitter @TheNiteShowME.

Any time you’d like to go to a taping, just let me know!