The Leprechaun, The Witch, And The Kissing Booth

kiss meWho knew that the desire to kiss me could lead to such a problem between two of my closest friends, Modern Philosophers?

That sounds like a very confusing opening line, so perhaps I should clarify.

I don’t mean that either of my close friends wants to kiss me (but I certainly wouldn’t mind if one of them did), but Seamus’ desire to have me man the Kissing Booth at his St. Patrick’s Day party was leading to some serious tension between Maine’s only Leprechaun and my favorite Witch.

“You really need to talk Seamus out of this kissing booth idea,” Volcanica Ivy insisted as she materialized across from me in my usual booth at Three Toads & A Wicked Lady.  I hated it when my Witch friends chose to sneak up on me in that manner.

We both turned to look over at the bar where Ti-Diana and Seamus were arguing up a storm uglier than the one the weather people had predicted for this weekend.

“I’m not getting the middle of an argument between a Leprechaun and a Witch,” I informed the Witch on the other side of the booth.  “Nothing good can come from that.”

I reached out for a Witchin’ Wing, but Ivy slapped away my hand and gave me a very stern look.  You never want a Witch to look at you in such a manner.  Trust me.

“You think something good is going to come from that?” she asked with venom in her voice as she nodded in the direction of her coven sister and the Irish creature who kept his pot o’ gold in my basement.

kissing booth“I didn’t ask to be put in his stupid kissing booth.  My stomach gets tied up in knots every time I think about it,” I confessed as I chugged my Snapple and tried to get a grip.  “I’m having a hard enough time finding a date, and suddenly I’ve got to be the center of attention offering up my lips and tongue to any drunk party guest who wants to take a shot at me?  That’s a lot of pressure!”

“Seamus said you were thrilled with the idea,” she countered.

I scoffed and grabbed a chicken wing.  I wasn’t going to let Ivy bully me.  Not in my usual booth.  Not when I was this hungry.

“Let me guess, he said that right in front of Ti, right?” I asked once I’d devoured the wing.  “He did that to get her Irish up.  He knows the two of us have this weird crush thing going on, and he wants to push her buttons.  Leprechauns are mischievous like that.”

Witch Island“Maybe he shouldn’t be so mischievous with a Witch as powerful as Ti,” Ivy replied as he helped herself to one of my Witchin’ Wings.  “Something that tiny and green could quite easily end up a frog if he says the wrong thing.”

“Great,” I snickered at the thought.  “All I need is a drunk frog that never leaves my house.”

“If you like Ti, why don’t you do something about it?” she challenged as she tossed the bones down on the plate.

“Because I’m an idiot who sits alone in a bar on a Saturday afternoon, hiding from the rest of the world,” I answered as honestly as I could.  “Ti-Diana is very important to me, and I’m afraid to screw it up.”

“And you think it wouldn’t screw things up to come into the bar she owns, sit in the middle of the room, and allow total strangers to stick their tongues in your mouth?” Ivy asked in a manner that betrayed the rage was bubbling up inside of her, making me remember why Volcanica was a part of her name.

“Tell me what to do, Ivy,” I practically begged.  “Seamus is my friend and he thinks he’s helping me by having me sit in the kissing booth.  I don’t want to do it, but I have a hard time letting down my friends.  Ti means the world to me, but we are just friends, so it’s not like I’m doing something wrong if I kiss someone else.  Right?”

Ivy’s icy glare was all the answer I needed.  I was wilting under its power, so I turned my attention back to the bar where Ti-Diana and Seamus had seemed to come to an understanding as they were no longer arguing.

Ti-Diana“The only reason they’re not still fighting is because Ti has put a Paralyzo Spell on that little pest,” Ivy whispered somewhat menacingly.

Of course.  A pint of beer sat untouched on the bar in front of Seamus.  The only way he would allow that to happen would be if he couldn’t move.

“Think of what Ti might paralyze on you if she saw you kissing dozens of women.”  This time Ivy’s whisper was deliberately menacing, and once the words were out of her mouth, she vanished from my booth and reappeared at her fellow Witch’s side.

I stared over at the two Witches and the frozen Leprechaun and wondered when St. Patrick’s Day had become such a complicated holiday…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Holidays, Humor, Love, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

83 Responses to The Leprechaun, The Witch, And The Kissing Booth

  1. swo8 says:

    Sounds like you had better becareful who you kiss.
    Leslie

  2. hocuspocus13 says:

    Reblogged this on hocuspocus13 and commented:
    jinxx 🍀 xoxo

  3. snowfox66 says:

    Neat story! Is there going to be more???? 😀

  4. Your St. Patrick’s Day sure sounds complicated!

  5. Waysman Entertainment says:

    Reblogged this on waysman.

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