Attention, WalMart Shoppers…

wallyI decided

I needed

An adventure

Today,

So I took

A trip

To WalMart.

It’s just up

The street,

And way more

Convenient than

The Mall.

I wandered

The aisles

In search

Of bargains,

But what

I found

Was so much

Better.

Did you know

One cannot

Purchase

A bottle

Of water

At Walmart

Unless it’s part of

A 100 bottle pack?

And that’s only

Because

They were

Out of

The 150 bottle

Packages.

I did get

Some nice deals

On shirts

For Spring.

Luckily,

They sell those

Individually.

My greatest discovery,

However,

Had nothing

To do with

What

Was

For

Sale.

Because of

Today’s excursion,

I now know

Where the

Creatures

From

Stephen King’s novels

Hang out

When they’re

Not needed

In his books.

Attention,

WalMart shoppers,

Your presence

Is required

In chapter six!

WalMart really does

Have everything!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy, Poetry and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Attention, WalMart Shoppers…

  1. spartacus2030 says:

    I like your writing style… Felt like I was reading Chinese! It may have ‘everything’, but they’re all the cheapest virgins! I once bought a camera there for $200 that said it could record 20 megapixels. Sound too good to be true? It was! I brought it back the next day and told them they should be ashamed of themselves for false advertising! You only get what you pay for. I should have known better.

  2. Purpleanais says:

    This could be the setting for “The Mist”

  3. Aahhaha.. LOL.. I was reading through the preview in my e-mail box like i usually do. I wasn’t sure why i was showing up like that i I thought it was a glitch or something then i opened the link. 😛

  4. My family calls it the “Freak Show”

  5. Pamela Edwards says:

    Now you know where the inspiration for the ” People of Wal-Mart ” pictures came from . Don’t know if you have ever seen them , they are unforgettable !

  6. Rennie says:

    I’m still chuckling over this post. Thanks for the laugh.

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