The film, which is scheduled to be released in June, is directed by someone other than Steven Spielberg, and stars Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard and a new batch of bad ass dinosaurs running wild at an amusement park.
When will man ever learn to stop playing God with the dinosaurs, Modern Philosophers?
Probably when the Jurassic Park flicks stop raking in major bank at the Summer Box Office. But I digress…
The unique crossover promotion between the Holiday that celebrates the Son of God rising from the dead, and the blockbuster film about dinosaurs being brought back from extinction, focuses on the Easter Bunny delivering dinosaur eggs on Easter Sunday.
“Putting together and then delivering all those Easter Baskets is a very expensive endeavor,” the Easter Bunny explained. “I pay for most of it out of my own pocket, and The Vatican cuts me a check to help defray expenses, but as the economy continues to remain sluggish, it’s getting harder for me to cover the costs.”
That was how Universal got involved.
“I’d learned via social media that Universal really wanted to find new and original ways to promote Jurassic World,” the Easter Bunny continued, “and that’s when I came up with the idea of dinosaur eggs.”
Easter eggs are fun, but dinosaur eggs are even better!
“Peter Cottontail is a marketing genius!” Octavio DeLorean, a Universal Studios Marketing Executive, excitedly informed this Modern Philosopher. “He can hop right on down to a position in our Marketing Department anytime he wants.”
The studio was so jazzed about the dinosaur egg idea that many of its employees converted to Christianity just so they could celebrate Easter this year.
Even Pope Francis is excited about the Jurassic World Easter promotion. “The Easter Bunny came to me to get my blessing, of course,” The Holy Father explained to me via Skype as he enjoyed a slice of pizza. “I am all for anything that gets children excited about religion and Christ’s resurrection. Even at my age, I love dinosaurs, and think it’s very cool to have Easter associated with those once mighty creatures.”
The Partying Pontiff is also in discussions with Universal about hosting a special premiere of Jurassic World at The Vatican. “I told them I would pray on it, but if they let the children come see it for free, then I don’t see how I can say no.”
The Easter Bunny made it clear that the dinosaur eggs are only candy and do not contain actual baby dinosaurs.
“The studio said they had scientists working on the real thing, but I put my foot down and told them it was absolutely out of the question,” the Easter Bunny admitted and then let out an exasperated sigh. “Parents would hunt me down if I delivered real dinosaurs to their children.”
Jurassic World is coming to an Easter Basket near you this Sunday!