Modern Philosopher Finds True Love And Decides To Elope

bride and groomHappy Hump Day, Modern Philosophers!

I’ve been keeping a big secret from you, but I think once I share it, you will understand why I’ve been telling you little white lies.  I also hope you’ll be extremely happy for me.

I’ve met someone!

Can you believe it?  A miracle has occurred.  True Love has managed to find me again after a long, lonely period of dark clouds.

I’m in love.

I’ve been purposely writing posts about the horrors of my dating life and how sad I am that I cannot find someone special to fill the void in my empty heart.  I did that because I’m very superstitious, and I was afraid I’d jinx this relationship if I talked about it too soon.

You get that, right?  You’re not mad at me for misleading you?

I really do appreciate how supportive you’ve all been, and my significant other has been moved by how much you care about me.  In fact, she said that on more than one occasion she was tempted to comment on a post that it was all a hoax and that she loved me deeply.

But she managed to control herself.

So why am I ready to share this with you today?  Drum roll please…

Because last night I proposed!

wedding ringsAfter absolutely no debate on her part, he said yes.

I’m getting married!!!

In fact, I’m writing this from Bangor International Airport.  We’re one our way to Las Vegas to elope!

Vegas, baby, Vegas!

I tried an official church wedding once, and look how that turned out.  I swore I’d never expose my heart to injury again by remarrying, but there are always special circumstances.

Like this one.  Like finding the one who make my heart beat faster.

I just knew I couldn’t stand in another church, though, and exchange vows.  Not after what happened the last time.

I’m not close with my family.  I don’t have too many friends.  And my fiancee is in the same boat.

So we decided to run off and elope, and make this a true fairy tale wedding.

vegasThat being the case, we decided to start our new lives together on the first day of a new month.  Also, it’s the traditional First Day of Spring in Maine, so we both agreed that it was the perfect day to tie the knot.

I hope you are all thrilled.  Sorry to spring this on you, but if you understood how truly superstitious I am, this would all make perfect sense to you.

Maybe once we’re back from our Vegas honeymoon, we’ll throw a belated reception at The House on the Hill.  You’ll all come, right?

I promise to take lots of photos and post constant updates so you feel like you’re right there in the wedding chapel with us.

They’re calling our flight, so I’ve got to go.

Have a great Wednesday.

And Happy April Fools’ Day, Modern Philosophers!

April Fools

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Holidays, Humor, Love, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

40 Responses to Modern Philosopher Finds True Love And Decides To Elope

  1. If it’s not an April Fool’s joke, c.o.n.g.r.a.t.u.l.a.t.i.o.n.s.! 🙂

  2. Omg I was so happy up until the end. Damn yoooou!

  3. AthenaC says:

    Ohhhh … I was going to unleash a string of curse words at you that I usually reserve for my boss. But I stopped myself.

    Well, if and when that actually does happen for you, I now know exactly how exited I will be for you.

  4. D. Parker says:

    Knowing what a trickster you are I wasn’t falling for this April Fool’s Day joke, but I was still hoping against hope it was true and someday, I hope it will be. 🙂

  5. List of X says:

    Gary is a “she”? 🙂

  6. Jodi says:

    I’m so gullible – I just read two April Fool’s posts and totally fell for yours! FUN! Sorry it isn’t true! 🙂

  7. Josh Wrenn says:

    Didn’t get me!

  8. somemaid says:

    You got me, hook line and sinker. I was so happy for you until I saw that last little bit. Seriously I do hope you find someone special soon.

  9. knowing your writing style….like others others said didn’tquite believe it yet… hoped…

  10. Too bad this was April Fools! I’m sure you’ll find a girl to elope in Vegas with someday. 🙂

  11. swo8 says:

    This could go one of two ways. You are either putting us on or you’re getting married. Waiting for the sequel.

  12. Very clever!!! Happy april Fool’s Day! 🙂

  13. jan says:

    Oh my, I hate to burst your bubble but Nevada state law 9130XYZ specifically forbids people from Maine from getting married on April 1st. ; )

  14. jan says:

    So sorry – you know it’s a city full of clowns and so 4/1 is a bit like OctoberFest in Germany. Anything goes and so legal arrangements entered into on that date have all the weight of a butterfly’s wing! Really, honest to goodness and no fooling!

  15. adamjasonp says:

    Now, I figured it was an April Fools joke before I even read it. The Vegas part would also get people to want it to be a joke. Not laughing, not laughing at all. If you ever get depressed, remember that this post may be a contributing factor… There’s hope and then there’s…Tsk.

  16. Hehe. Didn’t get me. I know you too well.

  17. Nice one! Congratulations in any case:)

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