Resurrect The Rejects: A Hilarious Easter Miracle

Nite Show SteveHappy Easter, Modern Philosophers!

I hope the Easter Bunny brought you everything your sweet tooth wanted.

In case he didn’t, I have an Easter blog post filled with Sunday Rejects to tickle your funny bone.

A new episode of The Nite Show With Danny Cashman aired last night, which means that I can resurrect some of the jokes that didn’t make it into Danny’s monologue and share them with you.

It’s an Easter miracle!

Let’s give a warm, second coming welcome to The Sunday Rejects!

Taylor Swift has insured her legs for $40M.  Now every time one of her legs falls asleep, the insurance company has to pay her $25,000…

Hilary Clinton’s recent personal email scandal has really opened my eyes.  I had no idea that AOL email addresses still even existed…

Disney has announced a May, 26, 2017 release date for Star Wars: Episode 8.  No word yet on the title, but rumor has it that one subplot deals with Han Solo having the be re-certified as a pilot after he crash lands the Millennium Falcon on a golf course…

Nite Show One Shot NothingThe Grasshopper Shop in Ellsworth is going out of business after 33 years.  Rumor has it they were forced out by the evil Blackbird Cartel…

Last month, during a drug raid in New Jersey, a crocodile was discovered in the basement. Those must have been some really powerful drugs they were selling because the suspects swore they thought the creature in the cellar was a poodle…

Tomorrow is Easter, and for families in Colorado and Washington, the holiday promises to bring something special for everyone.  While the kids are enjoying the candy in their Easter baskets, the adults will be enjoying the grass…

The baseball season opens tomorrow night in Chicago.  Weather permitting, the first snowball will be thrown out at 8:05pm…

The baseball season opens tomorrow night in Chicago.  The first pitch is scheduled for 8:05pm, and the first drug suspension is scheduled for 9:35pm…

Last month, a meth lab was found in the bathroom of a Wal-Mart in Indiana.  Just goes to show you that you really CAN get anything at Wal-Mart…

Nite Show DannyLast month, a meth lab was discovered in the bathroom of a Wal-Mart in Indiana.  Now I totally understand why it’s so important for employees to wash their hands after using the restroom…

World Health Day is on Tuesday.  Join me in calling out sick that day to celebrate…

What did you think, Modern Philosophers?  Did any of the Rejects make you laugh?

The Nite Show airs in Maine on Saturday nights, and the next taping is this Wednesday, April 8 at The Gracie Theatre.  You should definitely come join the fun!

If you can’t make it to the taping, you can always support The Nite Show by liking its Facebook page, checking out clips on its YouTube Channel, or by following the show on Twitter @TheNiteShowME.

Happy Easter!

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Resurrect The Rejects: A Hilarious Easter Miracle

  1. floridaborne says:

    So the Star Wars 8 debut was pushed up from December to May? I’ve known marriages like that. They get old after a while. 🙂

    Wonder if it has anything to do with Harrison Ford having a bad air day?

    The Hilar(it)y joke was funny, too. I can’t imagine that AOL failed to keep a copy of her email. If Judicial Watch wants them, perhaps they can sue the NSA for their copies?

    Your rejects are always fun to read. 🙂

  2. I liked the baseball ones.

  3. grannyK says:

    I love reject Sunday! I, too, really liked the baseball ones.

  4. jan says:

    All of them made me giggle but the meth lab in Walmart in Indiana was a hoot! (it’s raining in Norcal but no one is complaining.)

  5. adamjasonp says:

    The Star Wars joke was pretty good. (Makes me wonder why it was cut.)

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