Studies Prove Snow Is The Perfect Inoculation Against Spring Fever

Austin JunoOne of the most horrible ways to be jarred awake from sleep, Modern Philosophers, is by the sound of the snow plow clearing your street on April 7!

A full week into April, and I was out shoveling snow this morning before I left for work.  In fact, it has snowed for the past four days after it was a gorgeous 63 degrees on Friday.

How am I ever supposed to come down with a raging case of Spring Fever, if the snow never stops?

My Post Traumatic Snow Disorder has returned, and this madness really does have to end.

My snow shovel should be collecting dust in the basement by now.  My Yankees cap should long ago have replaced my knit Jets hat.  My Winter jacket, gloves, and boots should be shoved in the back of my closet and long forgotten.

Instead, I’m shoveling snow and cursing up a blizzard in the driveway of The House on the Hill.  Just another typical day of The Winter That Refused To End!

This is really starting to get depressing, Modern Philosophers.  I don’t want to have to check the weather report anymore.  I want to open the windows, put on shorts, and sit out on the porch.

I did have to leave work early yesterday because I had a nasty headache and my stomach was making the kind of noises you do not want to hear when you’re chained to a desk and the bathroom is on the other side of the building.

SpringI truly believed that those were the symptoms of Spring Fever.

Wrong again, Toga Boy.

It was just wishful thinking.  Some common cold or regular flu.  Nothing that was going to improve my mood and set off a happy dance to welcome Spring.

Tonight, I’m going to hunker down at The House on the Hill and finish writing monologue jokes for tomorrow night’s taping of The Nite Show.  Hopefully, that will be enough of a distraction to keep my mind off my Post Traumatic Snow Disorder.

If I dwell on this Never Ending Winter for too long, it leads to the very same headaches that ruined my day yesterday.

So for now, it’s only happy, silly, hilarious thoughts.  My goal for the evening is to tickle funny bones and cause knees to be slapped.

I guess I’m something like the sad clown, crying on the inside while I write jokes to entertain the masses.

damn snowHere’s hoping that this is the last time I have to deal with snow for many months.

Laughter might be the best medicine, but right now, snow is proving to be the perfect inoculation against a much needed case of Spring Fever…

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

28 Responses to Studies Prove Snow Is The Perfect Inoculation Against Spring Fever

  1. The extreme temperature drop here in Mass made me wonder why I HAD put away the gloves and BILLS hats. Hang in there Maine man. The world’s not quite ready for Toga Boy anyway!

  2. lisafab says:

    Just discovered you and love your fun blog! I live in the great state of CO and lucky for us we are known for our sunshine. We are also know for our snow (ok…and maybe something else). In Denver, we always tend to have a good snow storm in April and sometimes in May too…I think its kind of fun that I don’t know if I’ll be wearing flip flops or boots each day…You will have PLENTY of sunshine in the year to come and so don’t be depressed…

  3. ksbeth says:

    you can do it!

  4. grannyK says:

    It cooled down here, too, but not like you are getting! I did have go get out my long sleeved shirts again after I thought I could pack them away. I will take our wind and rain over snow, though.

  5. One word? Pollen. Remember that if it ever stops snowing there

  6. markbialczak says:

    That’s awful, Austin. Ouch. I wore shorts in Syracuse today walking Ellie B aka Dogamous Pyle after MDW Karen and I got back from a beautiful getaway to sunnier and warmer Washington, D.C. I have the Spring Fever. I wish you did. It’s not fair.

  7. livingonchi says:

    Shoo, snow! Begone!

  8. Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
    OH YEAH??????

  9. Just to prove your point…it was lightly snowing yesterday morning! 😦

  10. swo8 says:

    I’d say that snow is death to spring fever.
    Leslie

  11. I fear you’ll need therapy for this that will last all Summer.

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